Sometimes I wish I could clone myself. It’s not possible to be in like 10 places at the same time, and there are only so many hours in the day. Hence, my dilemma in the Bavarian Swabian town of Dinkelscherben.

Because modern science can’t clone us, you’re best to give yourself a few days to enjoy the 14 villages, hamlets, boroughs, and farms. Each one of Dinkelscherben’s villages has their own church, and whatever other goodies they got going on.

Take Anried, for example. Their 11th century church has a tower that’s inhabited by falcons and bats; and inside the church itself is a statue of St. Felicity and her seven sons — created in 1505.

Breitenbronn’s St. Margarethe Church was built in 1735; Ettelried’s St. Catherine’s in 1688. The latter is where you’ll find the village of Holzara, with its 18th century castle that now belongs to the Forest Service. Fitting, since 50% of the hamlet is forested in the Reichenbach Valley.

Fleinhausen lies in Dinkelscherben’s woodlands, and its St. Nicholas Church was built in 1474; and its Parsonage building came along in 1779.

Grünenbaindt’s Church of Sts. Peter & Paul came along before the start of the Thirty Years’ War, and it too has a Parsonage from the 18th century.

The village of Häder also has an 18th century church (St. Stephen), and in its little borough of Schempach (it’s only got 82 residents) is a tiny chapel that predates the Thirty Years’ War too.

Oberschöneberg (and its 3 villages) have the 16th century Unserer Lieben Frau (Church of Our Lady); Reischenau and Saulach are made up entirely of farms; while Stadel has the Leonhard Chapel from 1738.

Ried’s church had to be rebuilt in 1725 after the original was destroyed during the Thirty Years’ War.

I only left out Lindach, known mostly for its bike paths.

Follow one to the Schlossberg, where you’ll see what remains of the 9th century Burg Zusameck. It stood for almost a thousand years before eventually being abandoned in 1812; and excavations have proved that the spot was used in prehistoric times.

Many other bike and hike trails will lead you all along the Naturpark Augsburg Westliche Wälder, or the Augsburg Western Woods Nature Park. Actually, any of them will since Dinkelscherben is found entirely within it.

If only I could’ve cloned myself — imagine what else I could have found!

All right, I’ll fess-up. Anything with the word “diet” written in it, on it, or even around it will cause me to clam up. No way will I eat it, drink it, or have anything to do with it. That was, until I found Dietenheim.

Get it? D-i-e-tenheim. OK, that’s a stretch — but I’m sure you get the idea. ;-)

You’ll find this miniscule town in the Württemberg province, right on the border of Bavaria amidst Iron Age grave hills.

And there’s no chance of gaining any weight (is this why they call it “Diet”enheim?) with all the swimming at its Badesee. What’s really cool is if you’re a certified SCUBA diver — you can do that here too.

FYI, just remember to check out all the rules before you’ve done all that artificial breathing stuff, OK?

The lake is free for everyone; and they even have a beach volleyball court, table tennis, picnic area, and a kiosk that sells snacks. Family-friendly, I’d say.

The Herrenweiher Park is also family-friendly with all sorts of walking and cycling trails, a playground for the kiddies, and a Kneipp area for tired, achy tooties.

My feet feel better already.

If you’re lucky enough to come to Dietenheim in the weeks leading up to Easter (but well after its Alemannic/Rhenish Carnival) you’ll see Das Heilige Grab. Found in the landmark church of St. Martin, this Baroque masterpiece is on display right up until the end of Holy Week.

That’s the week leading up to Easter, if you didn’t know. And don’t think you’ll see this all over Germany — it’s said to be the last of its kind in all of South Germany.

Right next to the 5-pointed tower of St. Martin is the yellow, flowerbox decorated, rounded-archway Rathaus (Town Hall).

Thankfully, I didn’t have to eat like I was on a diet — Dietenheim is full of bakeries, cafes, bistros, and pizza joints.

Umm… maybe I should consider something diet before I can’t get into my clothes. ;-)

Nah, I’ll just have a healthy lunch served at the Kloster Brandenburg. Just don’t go expecting a medieval monastery — they’ve only been around since the 1960’s; and you’re more than welcome to spend a few nights at their guesthouse.

Fitting, since I’ve now had to pray that my pants still fit. Good thing Dietenheim is close to the hiking trails of the Swabian Alb and the Allgäu Alps.

Wonderful — no special diet foods necessary. :-)

There was once a time when I would have written about the town of Dettenheim saying it was along the Rhine River. Oh, I’m still going to write about Dettenheim (wait, isn’t that what I’m doing right now), but I can’t say its along the Rhine River.

What happened? Um, someone had the brilliant idea to move an entire river. Don’t look at me, I didn’t do it.

Alt-Dettenheim was one of the town’s villages that used to be along the Rhine, but it’s more famous for being destroyed during the Thirty Years’ War. Today it has only two original half-timbered houses, and a Local History Museum.

What else Dettenheim is known for is the Rußheimer Altrhein-Elisabethenwört. (Don’t you love our tongue twisters?) Anyway, this is a great nature area, and it’s easy to get lost in thought around its walking trails and bike paths, that’s for sure. Really, I just kept wondering how the hell you move an entire river.

Yes, I’m still going on about that. ;-)

Dettenheim lies in an area that isn’t very populated, so it’s quite peaceful. Unless, of course, there’s one of the town’s festivals happening. Carnival is a big one; and its a fun way of partying in the middle of dark winter days.

When the days are longer and brighter, look forward to Dettenheim’s Schlachtfest (Slaughter Festival), Fischerfest (Fishermen Festival), Regatta, and Waldfest (Forest Festival) in May alone. June follows with a Music Festival and ends with two Summer Festivals.

July starts off with the Hähnchenfest (Chicken Festival), followed by a big Beach party. Come August, you’ve got yet another Summer Festival and a Street Festival. I like September, that’s when the Patima Fest and the Oktoberfest get into full swing; and December has two Christmas Markets.

Whew, with all that carrying on, I forgot all about the whole Rhine thing for a minute there. Oh well, this is the Upper Rhine Valley — so it’s only a matter of time before I head off on another hiking trail and think about it all over again. ;-)

Don’t go feeling all sorry for the Franconian town of Gerbrunn because it’s a neighbor of the grand city of Würzburg. I know, it’s easy to think that because you’re the little sister of such a splendid city that it would be some kind of Ugly Duckling.

Pahhhhh, that’s nonsense. This is Franconia; and there ain’t no ugly anything here. ;-)

Gerbrunn might not have the its own International Film Festival, or a Christopher Street Day, or even lay claim to the Marienberg Fortress — but truth be told, you’re only 3km away so you can see it all anyway.

As for what Gerbrunn does have, a whole bunch of other festivals and sites. Start along the Römerbrücke, or Roman Bridge, to take a leisurely stroll.

Smell that? Yeah, those are grapes — to be made into the tastiest of wines. You can see and smell them better during Gerbrunn’s guided vineyard hikes. You can buy all the bottles you want at Gerbrunn’s Christmas Market (November).

And you can drink all you like at Gerbrunn’s Maypole celebration (May 1st), the Pfarrfest (July), Brunnenfest (August), and Fall Festival (September).

Viticulture is all around in Gerbrunn, so go ahead, have a glass or two at one of the local eateries where you can get anything and everything from local Franconian to Greek cuisine.

Religion is all around, as well. The Corpus Christi Procession is simply beautiful — and the outdoor church services make for a change of pace too.

That’s not anything against the bright & airy St. Nicholas Chapel. It’s just its exterior (with an onion dome) is pretty too. Right next door is the Pfarrhaus, a half-timbered gem.

Inasmuch as Gerbrunn is striking during its colorful Spring and Summer days, it’s just as wonderful all covered with snow.

I don’t know if I mentioned that there’s regular bus service that runs from Gerbrunn to Würzburg — but why leave? Better yet, get on the bus in Würzburg and come straight here. :-)

How many folks out there love all things medieval? Don’t you love movies like Robin Hood, or about King Arthur and Camelot? I do, and when I find towns that transport my mind’s eye back to the days of the Middle Ages — I’m all gung-ho to shout about them.

Welcome to Gammertingen in the classy Hohenzollern Province. Wait, I said shout. WELCOME TO GAMMERTINGEN. ;-)

What comes from the days of chilvalrous knights? The Kloster Mariaberg, for starters. Not that you could tell from its Baroque church, mind you; but it was built in 1265.

The ruins of Baldenstein Castle are also from the Middle Ages, as it was built in the 11th century. Yup, that makes it like a thousand years ago.

What else? Spethsches Schloss. Wait… The building you see today was built in 1775, but its original was from the 13th century. A technicality, but medieval nonetheless. Debate it over the castle’s ceiling frescoes, OK?

I know there are more medieval sites around Gammertingen, like its 12th/13th century Stadtmauer — but I have to jump ahead some centuries to tell you about the Kirche St. Leodegar (16th century). Oh yeah, this one’s over an older one, so this too is a Middle Ages original.

The St. George Chapel didn’t come along until 1700, the Linsenbergkapelle in 1872, and the Josefskapelle in 1708.

Gammertingen’s St. Nicholas Church might have a Rococo design, but its full of Gothic art. And the St. Martin Church is also a Rococo church — most notably known for its stucco work and sculptures.

What’s really funny is that all of these old buildings aren’t anywhere near as old as the Teufelstorfelsen. This rock cutout comes from the Jurassic era (yeah, like dinosaurs); and its views of the Lauchertal are as legendary as the rock itself.

Want to get away from everything remotely modern? The Fehlatal can only be accessed by foot or bicycle — there are no roads, no train tracks, no nothing in this heavily forested area.

Ahh, the sweet sound of silence.

It isn’t so silent at one of Gammertingen’s festivals or markets. On the third Thursday of March, August, and October is the Shopkeeper’s Market; in addition to
the Weekly Market on Wednesdays.

Warm weather is perfect for the annual Jazz concerts on the first Saturday of the Summer Holidays at the castle, and on the last weekend of June (every other year) party at the City Festival. When the weather turns cooler, look forward to the Christmas and Advent Markets.

The only thing I’ve left out this far is telling you about Gammertingen’s Municipal Museum (it’s never the same as the exhibits constantly change), and the Harthausen Museum that acts as Gammertingen’s Local History Museum.

Nope, that’s wrong — I left out the Kreuzwege, or Stations of the Cross. You’ll find all 14 along Gammertingen’s lanes; in the same spot from when they were put there in the 1860s.

All right, so what if they’re not medieval? I always got the rest of Gammertingen to bring me back there.

Today Gau-Algesheim is part of the Rhineland-Palatinate in Germany. Had you been here at the turn of the 19th century — you’d know it as part of the Holy Roman Empire.

Not that it matters much today — it’s just I’m reminded of Gau-Algesheim’s churches. Like the Pfarrkirche (Parish Church) Sts. Cosmas & Damian. It was once a Gothic church, but has a Baroque Pieta, and centuries old graves inside.

The Chapel on Laurenziberg that you see today was built in 1707 in the popular Baroque style of its day — but there’s been a religious site here since the 6th or 7th century.

That’s like twice as old as Schloss Ardeck, built in 1112. Today the castle houses the Fahrradmuseum (Bicycle Museum), and they do rent out rooms for parties and other events.

Gau-Algesheim’s Rathaus (Town Hall) is also a Baroque building that was originally a Gothic one. In fact, the building you’re seeing today was destroyed during the Thirty Years’ War — but that didn’t stop residents from rebuilding.

What other goodies will you find in Gau-Algesheim? Take the Wine & Panorama Trail to find out. Yes, wine — they’ve been growing grapes for vino here since 766 — and the 2.5km trail with 15 panels will tell you all about it.

Follow the 15 panels of the Geoökologische Erlebnispfad to learn about Gau-Algesheim’s plants and animals.

Forget it — I’m more interested in the Kerb & Alagastmarkt on the 2nd weekend of August. No, the Castle Festival at the end of August. Can’t decide… maybe I should do both?

Rather hold out for the wine? The Wine Festival is on the second weekend of October — and the obligatory Christmas Market comes along in…? Yup, December. Have some mulled wine there — you’ll love it.

I guess I better tell you about Gau-Algesheim’s Graulturm — a Gothic tower from 1332 (and where you pick up the start of the Geoökologische trail). You’ll find a Jewish Cemetery, and a Gothic “Christ In Majesty” mandorla.

Perhaps some of you’d rather picnic out on the Laurenziberg, or find a quiet hiking or biking trail. All good things. So whatever you choose you’re not gonna go wrong in Gau-Algesheim.

Inasmuch as I love a castle as much as the next person, even I have to say that I didn’t really miss not seeing one in the Franconian town of Gerolzhofen. They have just about everything else, so it’s not like there would’ve been a whole helluva lotta time to see one anyway.

Maybe it’s the wine talking. ;-)

Yes, wine instead of beer in Franconia. More precisely, this is Unterfranken, or Lower Franconia, after all; and wine’s the drink of the day. Especially at the Asparagus and Wine Market that’s an annual April event in addition to the Wine Festival Steigerwald in July.

Oh yes, the Steigerwald — perfect for hiking and biking. Did you know Gerolzhofen lies within the Steigerwald Nature Park? No? You do now.

Where was I? Yes, festivals. Gerolzhofen also hosts an annual Spring Festival in March, Vineyard tours during another Wine Festival on May 1st, a Fall Festival in October, and an Advent Market.

When you’re not partying until you can’t party no more, walk along Gerolzhofen’s old fortification wall and towers. One is the Weißer Turm (White Tower), which you can see from a distance if you’re standing at the Gasthof Wilder Mann; the other is the Hexenturm, or Witches Tower.

Of all of Gerolzhofen’s churches, it’s the St. Johns Chapel Museum with its Gothic art, and the St. Vitus Church (built 1402) that are a must-see. Sorry, add in the St. Mary of the Rosary church, too.

The Alte Rathaus (Old Town Hall, 1475) is another must. You can’t miss it, standing three-storeys high. Inside is a City Museum with exhibits on clothing and the machines that make them.

Rather be outside than inside? Take some time along one of Gerolzhofen’s jogging paths, visiting the old Jewish cemetery (from 1639), or the outdoor pool (it’s an indoor one too) with a sauna.

Look at that — no castle is necessary when visiting Gerolzhofen. Trust me, you won’t even notice.

I don’t know about you, but I really like the Middle Ages. I like stories about the Romans too; so I’m thinking that sorta makes me a history buff. And a good fairytale of sorts is just the sort of thing to take the mind off a hard day behind the computer.

Luckily I found just the thing in Großmehring in Upper Bavaria.

Just east of Ingolstadt on the Danube, Großmehring’s five villages are perfect for anyone looking to trek in the footsteps of the Romans, hear about the tale of the Nibelungenlied, or visit a medieval monastery.

Three for the price of one. Efficient, perfect for the German in all of us. We could go in order of history (again, for the German part of me) visiting the Bronze Age graves, then the two Roman graves that were found in the villages of Demling and Theißing.

It’s a long while before the Middle Ages came into being, but that’s when the nearby Benedictine Order Monastery St. Waldburg was built. It houses the relics of the 8th century St. Waldburga. Its Abbey Church is famous for its marble and gold interior, all decorated with angels.

Look around, you’ll see everything from its Romanesque origin to its Baroque finishings — but don’t miss its crypt since that’s where its relics are housed.

The monastery is more than just its church as it has a quiet garden and a guesthouse for anyone needing accommodation.

While not quite as big, Großmehring has a number of other churches that you can see. They’ve got everything from small chapels in the villages of Großmehring Proper and Theißring; followed by a 12th century one in Tholbath; one built in 1200 in Straßhausen; Pettling’s didn’t come along until 1590; St. Catherine’s on the Katharinenberg is from 1447 (ah, that was outta order); Demling’s Baroque church from 1650; and the last one, known as Neue Kirche St. Wolfgang from 1973.

A visitor doesn’t live by churches alone, so go see Großmehring’s Erlachhof — a farm that’s been around since the 13th century; and its Nibelungenbrunnen (Nibelung Fountain) that’s located at its Rathaus (Town Hall).

The Nibelungenlied holds a special theme here, as its culture center is known as the Nibelungenhalle.

Ponder the Nibelungenlied’s tale about a Duchess’ love for her husband, and exacting revenge on his killers over a beer at Großmehring’s Father’s Day Festival in May, or its Summer Night Festival (June 16th), or along one its Guided Bike Tours.

Sorry, that’s too much thinking for even me during Großmehring’s Wine Festival in October. Ah, I might be a serious history buff — I’m also a wine lover, so wonderful that I found everything right here.

A big, hearty welcome from the town of Grafenau. Not the Grafenau in Lower Bavaria, but the one in Württemberg. Confusing a bit, isn’t it?

By the time I’m done on this Web page, maybe you won’t be. I still might though. ;-)

This Grafenau is located in the Böblingen District, and it’s very big — just a tad over 13 square kilometers; along both the Schwippe and Würm Rivers. Since this Grafenau is nearby to (deep breath to get them all out) Stuttgart, Leonberg, Calw, Weil der Stadt, and Sindelfingen, it’s quite easy to get here.

What’s the point of coming if there isn’t anything to see? Are you kidding, Grafenau lies in a sweet part of the Black Forest — so you’re bound to be happy if you don’t do anything but walk a hiking trail.

Actually it lies in the Heckengäu — a landscape defined by tumuli and Royal Celtic graves.

Lucky for us, there’s a tad more than that. For instance, there’s the Dätzingen Castle. It’s a Malteserschloss — a castle that belonged to the Order of Malta (a Catholic Order from the 11th century). Today it’s part Local History Museum and part Art Gallery.

The art found in the castle (that’s only open on the third Sunday of the month from 2pm – 5pm) takes a look at the artist styles of a post-WWII Germany.

I might be inspired to paint myself after seeing the castle’s gardens, its small side garden, and its fountain.

Nah, I’ll stick to writing about Grafenau’s Martin Lutheran Church (located at Eberhardstraße 13) in the village of Döffingen — right where it’s been since it was constructed in the 11th and 12th centuries.

Not anywhere near as old is the Leonhardskirche, not built until the 19th century. Don’t let its young age fool you — it’s still worth a trip.

After a trip to the Kapellenbergturm, a watertower from the 1950’s that’s now a cellphone tower, there’s not much else.

But, if anything, you’re not confusing Württemberg’s Grafenau with that other one. ;-)

What do the seven districts of the town of Adelebsen have in common? No, I’m not playing trivia or the “Crazy German” version of Jeopardy this time — in case you’re wondering. ;-)

I’ll tell you the answer: they’re dominated by the 13th century Burg Adelebsen. What’s even better is if you’re here between April and September you can get yourself a guided tour of the castle that’s part medieval, part Renaissance, and part Baroque architecture.

You can’t miss it, BTW, it’s got this 9-story donjon (that’s the tower standing 40 meters high) with walls 4 meters thick. Uh, you ain’t digging your way of that, my friends.

All that stonework makes me think of Adelebsen’s Steinarbeitermuseum, or Stone Workers Museum. Funny enough, it isn’t housed in a stone building, but a half-timbered one.

Another framework beauty is the 15th century Paper Mill. While it isn’t used for that purpose anymore, it’s still a wonderful stop — and gives the town a medieval feel.

For a festive feel, enjoy one of Adelebsen’s many cultural events. There’s the Frühlingsmarkt in early May, the Summer Festival in July, a Dorffest (Village Festival) in May, an Adventsmarkt in December, and all sorts of Advent and Christmas concerts.

Because those last ones are religious events, it makes me think of the Kapellenruine Reynhardeshagen (that’s hard to say in one mouthful). This too, like the castle, was built in the 13th century — but hasn’t held up so well.

Too bad, it was once a pilgrimage church. And if you keep walking you’ll find the ruins of a medieval watchtower nearby.

Does Adelebsen have any other spectacular churches? Sure it does, the St. Nicholas Church (in Eberhausen) is a half-timbered one with a stone tower, and Erbsen has the mid-15th century St. Vitus Church.

Wibbecke has a chapel that was built in 1150. It looks more like a stately manor than a chapel, but it’s still pretty nonetheless.

The last religious site is the Jewish Cemetery — then you’re free to do all the hiking and biking trails in the village of Lödingsen all you want. Or, learn all about the flora and fauna in the Sollingvorland in the village of Güntersen.

I guess I should have said that Adelebsen’s seven districts are dominated by its castle and its countryside. Good thing we weren’t playing Jeopardy — I’d have gotten the question wrong; but I sure was right about coming to Adelebsen. ;-)