Beeskow is calling all writers. Think you got the goods to write well enough to be considered Beeskow’s Castle Writer? Imagine living in a castle for six months, working in solitude (any of you out there with kids at home will appreciate this), and working with the Brandenburg community at large.

Sounds good, doesn’t it?

If you think this is good, imagine what else Beeskow has in store. But, first let me tell you about its castle (that’s where the Castle Writer gets to live). It’s got a torture chamber (c’mon, you really didn’t think a medieval castle wouldn’t have one, did you?), a regional history museum, and an art exhibition area within its complex.

St. Mary’s is another medieval structure around here, minus the torture chamber. This is a church. Of course, it wouldn’t have one of those, it would have competed with the castle’s. Ha-ha, there’s my bad attempt at a joke. ;-)

Look around and you’ll find more medieval sites around here. Parts of the original city wall and the Luckauer Tor (a gate, the town’s landmark) are still preserved. And a former monk hostel can be found right off the Stadtmauer (defense wall).

Enough with the Middle Ages, there’s more to be done in Beeskow. Visiting the Jewish cemetery, the graves of forced laborers, and the Fascist Memorial should all be on your itinerary.

Wow, I just jumped from the medieval to 20th century history. I should have told you about the 15th century oldest house in town; and all of Beeskow’s festivals.

St. Mary’s holds all sorts of concerts throughout the year, an Easter Festival, and Old Town Festival (1st weekend in June); and both the Anglers and Opera Festivals in August.

As if that’s not enough, you’ve got the Bauernmarkt or Farmer’s Market every September and the obligatory Christmas market in late November or early December.

Hey, you read this far… Do you think I got what it takes to be the (or a) Castle Writer? I sure wouldn’t mind living in Castle Beeskow. Actually, I wouldn’t mind just living in Beeskow. So what about applying all together, sharing the commissions, and living happily thereafter? :-)

I don’t know how the Hessian town of Biebergemünd can concentrate just about a million and a half festivals into its six villages. Yes, I’m over stating the million and a half, because it’s probably only a mere million. ;-)

Kidding aside, it just seems like there are that many festivals, because every time you turn around, there’s one going on. Don’t believe me? How about this:

Other than the Local History Museum (called Heimatmuseum and only open the 1st Sunday of the month) and the 11th century Mauritius Chapel (an 11th century pilgrimage church) and the Kneipp walking pool (open May-October and close to a playground, pond, and BBQ spots) there’s nothing else to do except party.

January kicks off the year’s festivities in Biebergemünd with a Masked Ball. Then Carnival is a fun way to keep warm in the middle of winter (maybe it‘s the wine).

You’ve got a reprieve for a while since the next festival is the Dorffest or Village Fest that doesn’t take place until May; which is when the Kassel Musicians Concert usually takes place, too.

June is pretty active with the Straßenfest (Street Festival), the Brunnenfest (Fountain Festival), and Pfarrfest Wirtheim. And July is no slacker in the party department, either; with the Mühlenfest (Mills Festival), the Feuerwehrfest (Firemen Festival — think hunky firemen — yes, ladies I‘m looking out for you on this one ;-), and two Fischerfeste (Fishermen Festivals).

Are you tired of partying yet? Not me. I still know the Kerb (Church Festival) and the Pfarrfest (Parish Festival) are August favorites.

Oh, silly me! There is another Kerb and Parish Festival that takes place in September. With six hamlets, there’s bound to be more than just one.

Of course, if you’re too tired to keep going, might I suggest you take the day off to go fishing or take a quiet leisurely stroll along some walking paths.

Then maybe instead of thinking about a million festivals, you’ll think you’re a million kilometers away from the rest of the world.

Remember, though, that I haven’t listed each and every party but just a selection of it. Told you it’s a million! Don’t say I haven’t warned you… ;-)

On an imaginative September day I found myself wandering around the town of Borsdorf in Saxony looking for something to do. Then, lo & behold, the town started to come alive with construction, horses, and men dressed in odd-looking clothing.

What was going on here? Did I step through some weird cosmos portal or something?

No, it was the Parthenfest that’s held every year. It’s a festival filed with horses, parades, lots of music, magic shows, and battle reenactments. It all ends with a wonderful fireworks display; and kept me busy all day long.

Boy, was I tired afterwards. And no, it wasn’t all the beer I managed to suck down all day. ;-)

Good thing I stayed the night because I still had a few things left to see that had to be put off while I partied the day away.

I would suggest not going to see Church Panitzsch smelling like yesterday’s beer — so clean up a bit, will you. ;-)

This is a striking 13th century church with Baroque accents (built over an older 11th century church) overlooking the entire town. Make sure you see the Romanesque baptismal font.

Borsdorf’s Zweenfurther Kirche (rebuilt 1844 after a fire) is another marvelous church that shouldn’t be missed.

I also like Borsdorf’s Rathaus. If I had to work inside an office all day I sure wouldn’t mind doing it in this impressive edifice, that’s for sure. It’s also a perfect venue for the art exhibits that are staged here.

Oh, to go back to Borsdorf’s festivals again for a moment… Well, not quite a festival — there’s a cycle tour held in May, that’s not only good for you, but it’s loads of fun as well.

For Christmas fun there’s the obligatory Christmas Market at the end of November; and plenty of New Years events to ring in the next year with style.

But, I think the outfits from the Parthenfest have some fantastic style, too.

I know my usual modes operandi is to first mention beer when talking about Bavaria. But, when it comes to Bad Griesbach im Rottal beer kind of takes a backseat.

Is that even possible not to consider beer? With an emphatic yes I would say since I fell in love with the Bad Griesbach-Therme. And as much as I love Germany’s beers and castles I still felt my heart belonged to another.

But, first things first. I’ll tell you about the historical sites of town, then its off to the spa. Deal? OK, great.

You’d never guess that the Griesbach Castle is almost a thousand years old. I should say, the original castle would have been a millennia old had it not been destroyed in the 16th century, forcing the owners to rebuild the whole enchilada.

Bad Griesbach also has no less than six magnificent churches, including one pilgrimage church (St. Wolfgang in the village of Weng) and the church of the St. Saviour Monastery.

You’re also able to check out a prehistoric ore mining site.

For the very first time I’m going to say: whew with the sightseeing. Crazy, right? It’s just that there are 147 golf holes to tackle in Bad Griesbach. No, it’s not the world’s largest golf course, it’s divided between six (!) 18-hole, three 9-hole, and two 6-hole courses.

Golf isn’t the only sport around here. Come to think of it, I better tell you now that staying for a few days (months) is the only way you’re going to see & do it all. Bad Griesbach has (besides the whole regular golf thing) miniature golf, tennis, 17 Nordic walking paths, normal hiking trails, bicycling, an 80m water slide at the swimming pool, and hot air ballooning.

Oh my… I’m tired, I need a beer. ;-)

But, there’s no time for that. It’s about time to mosey over to the Bad Griesbach-Therme where we can float away the world’s worries in the spa’s healthy thermal waters which are at 30, 38, and 60 degrees Celsius respectively.

Some people (not me) prefer the Turkish Bath Hamam, where you’re wrapped up in next to nothing, scrubbed with a goat hair brush, and rubbed with hot stones.

There’s only one thing that can make your stay in Bad Griesbach any better. Be here during one of its festivals (you thought I was going to say something about a beer garden, didn’t you?).

The third-largest public festival in Bavaria is at the end of August, a hot air balloon festival is mid-August, and the Lantern Festival is at the end of July. Plus, mid-September is when Bad Griesbach holds its Rottaler Nordic Walking Marathon.

Even if you don’t do the marathon’s 11, 21, or 42km walk, you can always sit on the sidelines cheering everyone with a good beer. ;-)

Have you ever gone to a place and you’re instantly reminded of somewhere else? That’s what can happen with you in the town of Bellheim. If it isn’t for the fact that people are speaking German here, you might think you’re in Napa Valley, California or something. Why Napa?

Because of the rolling hills of vineyards, with grapes that make some of the most delicious wines. Take that, California, Italy, and France — you’re not the only ones who can make that stuff. ;-)

I’m guessing Napoleon would have tried to take credit for the wines, had his French law (imposed here in 1816) stuck.

Grapes aren’t the only yummy treats grown in this Palatinate region, even if you’re traveling on the Southern Wine Route (Südliche Weinstraße). The smells from the lemon and almond trees are heavenly, not to mention quite tasty.

FYI, it’s OK if you don’t like wine, Bellheim is home to the Bellheimer Brauerei for a delicious beer if that’s your cup of tea (no pun intended ;-).

Drinking isn’t all you can do in the Palatinate. You’ve got Nordic Walking, hiking trails, and bicycle paths. Or, try canoeing then finishing off the day with miniature golf.

But, I’m guessing you didn’t come to Bellheim just to play around in the woods. Within Bellheim’s town center you’ll see the 15th century 68 meter high tower of the city’s St. Nicholas Catholic Church. It kind of dwarfs the 42 meter tower of Bellheim’s Evangelical Church.

To really experience the cultural side of Bellheim, you’ll need to come during Carnival (usually February) and at Pentecost (about 6 weeks after Easter) for the Gartentage or Garden Days when its all about the flowers. And it’s all about the music and dancing during the annual Ball that’s held in January.

For historical culture the Historische Schmiede in the village of Ottersheim is perfect. It has exhibits on everything from antique equipment to old customs.

Whether you think you’re in Napa or elsewhere, I’m sure you’ll like it in Bellheim.

I could very well sit here and write all about where the town of Bad Schussenried is. Yet you’re going to pass over the fact that it’s on the River Schussen between Ulm and Lake Constance as soon as I tell you it’s on the Swabian Spa Route.

Oh, and it’s on the Upper Swabian Baroque Route, too. OK, I passed over that fact the first time, going right to the spa part.

I went right for the gusto with the spa. Hey, I’ve earned it. I just love getting all massaged, steamed, and mudded up. We work hard for our money, so it sure is nice to be pampered, isn’t it?

There was one place that could (and did) lure me away from a magnificent spa experience. If you’ve read enough pages here at MyGermanCity.com you’ll know that it had to do with beer.

That’s right, folks, Bad Schussenried has itself a Beer Stein Museum, called the Bierkrugmuseum. This is more than a museum of beer glasses; its got info on 500 years of Germany’s drinking.

Churches and monasteries are also a long part of Germany’s history; and one of the most beautiful is the Monastery Schussenried. You wouldn’t recognize it as a medieval cloister (late 12th century), as it looks more Baroque than anything after getting an 18th century facelift.

Its Monastery Museum has 800 years of religious books, Baroque paintings, and reliquaries. It is also the site of many cultural exhibitions, open all-year round and offering guided tours.

FYI, make sure you see the Pilgrimage Museum in the village of Steinhausen. It’ll explain a good deal more about the travels of the devout and pious.

The monastery is just one of the reasons Bad Schussenried is on the Upper Swabian Baroque Route. Another is the Upper Swabian Village Museum Kürnbach with 32 buildings (all historical) that tell the tale of everyday life in Upper Swabia.

Come see the workshops of a violin maker, a butcher, and other crafts that seem to have gone by the wayside.

Then again, the Baroque is just a mere tiny bump in Bad Schussenried’s history. The town’s been inhabited since the Stone Age. If you prefer the Middle Ages, you’ll like the 15th century Church of Sts. Sebastian, Blasius, and Agatha.

If you like castles, you’ve got the Hervetsweiler Castle, the Kürnbach Castle, and the Otterswang ruins to see.

Any other time I’d be up for visiting any (and every castle) along the way, but this time I have a mud wrap with my name on it. ;-)

It’s a bet to see if you’re going to have more fun at the Blossom Festival, the Street Festival, or the Church Festival in Butenheim. I mean Budenheim. Well, it was Butenheim back when the town was named at the Lorsch Abbey; eventually becoming the Budenheim today.

I’ll be right upfront… There’s not a heckava lotta sightseeing in Budenheim. It’s more known for its three awesome festivals AND its 20 million year old rhino.

First off, the Budenheimer Blütenfest (Blossom Festival) starts on the last weekend of April. For more than 50 years a Flower Queen (with two assistant princesses) is chosen at the festival to represent the town at various events throughout the year, including pretty flowers, food, and wine.

Ah, you were thinking I was gonna say beer. ;-)

I save the beer for the annual Street Festival; or Straßenfest as it’s called on plates. It’s a four day affair that begins on the weekend before the summer season starts.

Budenheim’s Kerb or Kirchweih (Church Festival) is also another four day event on the third weekend of September. They really like to party here, don’t they?

As proud as folks are around here about their parties, they’re also proud that the fossils of a 20 million year old rhino were found here in 1911. The old bones might not be on display here (they’re in the Senckenberg Museum in Frankfurt am Main); and a prehistoric crocodile that was uncovered is now in the Natural History Museum in Mainz.

All right, enough of the history and drinking. Or maybe not, because you can always grab a cold beer at the 19th hole after playing 18 championship holes at the local Golf Club. Don’t want to play that long? No big deal, there’s a 6-hole public course and driving range around, too.

Maybe it’s not a bet to see which festival you’ll have more fun at. It could very well be a simple day out on the links that’s the clear winner.

When winter’s given you the blues, or snow’s got you stuck in the house with the kids (and you’re about to pull your hair out ;-) you could think of posh Bad Endbach.

But, first let me tell Bad Endbach does get snow, so don’t think of coming here for a tropical island retreat. It’s a winter sports haven with regular and cross-country skiing, so if anything it’ll get you out of the house and let the kids unload some of that pent up energy they always seem to have. ;-)

Secondly, no matter the season Bad Endbach’s mineral springs are at a constant temperature of 37º C (99° F). While blizzards are hammering some other parts of the globe, you’ll be floating nicely in quite a warm bath that will take away any wintertime ache you’ve got.

Even Kneipp gets into the spa action with a Kneipp park that will also get you feeling like a million dollars. The Kneipp Museum might not, but it’ll at least fill you in on this healthy way of life.

Another museum is the Local History Museum in the village of Wommelshausen. These types of museums are great for getting into the real cultural side of a place.

Other ways to experience the culture of Bad Endbach (as if the spa isn’t enough) is to join in a guided hiking tour (or one on your own — there are 24 of them) around the Westerwald Mountain Range (there are Nordic Walking trails too), take in an evening of chess matches, or join the ladies for afternoon tea.

In addition to everything you’re already read about, I’ve got more to tell you. For you medieval knight wannabes (or just your average history loving ilk) there’s a 12th century Evangelical Church and a 13th century Romanesque Marienkapelle (once a pilgrimage site for the devout).

All that’s left for you to do is cycle around the Herbstwald and see the 550 year old Oak tree. Maybe if it wasn’t winter, it’d be the perfect place for a picnic. C’mon Spring!

If you could ask for a town with anything and everything you’d get it in the Upper Bavarian town of Beilngries. It’s a place with medieval history, lots of outdoor fun, and where no one will care if you have onion breath. ;-)

Huh? Onion breath? Yeah, that’s right, I said onion breath. Let me explain…

Every Autumn Beilngries holds an Onion Market (called Zwiebelmarkt); and they even choose an Onion Queen. Of course they don’t only sell onions, but the cry-producing veggie is the guest of honor.

During Beilngries’ Culinary Spring, all sorts of fruits and veggies are welcome! For an entire month (usually mid-March to mid-April), everyone gets together to sample different dishes (both regional and international). Usually I would suggest drinking your way around Upper Bavaria, but I think eating your way around is a mighty good choice here.

Hey, you’ll need the calories to give you energy to go golfing, swimming, canoeing, hiking, biking, and Nordic Walking. This is only the sporty side of Beilngries, we haven’t even gotten to the historical side yet.

Oh, we’re there now. Eat up, we’ll be here for a while. A lot of visitors to Beilngries like to see the former Franciscan Monastery St. Trinitas (built 1725) and the Chapel known as the Church of our Lady (built 1683).

Yes, these impressive churches are quite old. Yet, they’re not the oldest ones in town. That would probably be the Gothic St. Lucia (built 1469) and the Chapel of St. Johann (built 1496).

Beilngreis’ medieval towers are even older, though. Nine of the original twelve still remain! Not too shabby as they were built six hundred years ago in 1407.

The oldest of everything here is the Schloss Hirschberg. I know it looks like a Baroque Castle, but the original castle was built in 1170; and destroyed during the Thirty Years’ War in the 17th century.

Between visiting the churches and eating, Beilngries has a couple of museums. There’s the Technology Museum and the Toy Museum, which will make you feel like a kid again.

Your last stop before you wind up in a Upper Bavarian beer garden is the Altmühltal Nature Park. It’s a great way to see all sorts of local flora and small animals.

I know you won’t mind if I head off to grab something to eat. Maybe I’ll grab something with onions, wash it down with a few beers, and try to kiss the Onion Queen. ;-)

Bad Düben is more than just a spa town. More? Isn’t just kicking back in a spa setting with massages, saunas, and swimming pools enough?

Well, for the most part, yes! Of course, refreshing your batteries and ridding yourself of life’s daily stress is dandy, grand thing. But, to do it where you’ll find a layer cake of history makes it all the better.

Take Burg Düben for instance. Yeah, it’s a medieval castle and much older than most other castles of the Middle Ages. This particular castle was founded back in 981, and the oldest parts you can still see come from the 12th century.

The castle did undergo major reconstruction after it was sacked in 1631, 1637, and 1641. That darn Thirty Years’ War (1618-1648) sure did take its toll. (Speaking of that war, there’s a memorial stone (called the Gustav-Adolf-Stein) to the Swedish King).

Hmm, I wish walls could talk as I can only dream of the stories this Burg could tell. Like how it was the site of one of the last witch trials in Germany. The Witches Cellar is also where you’ll find Bad Düben’s Local History Museum, right down the way is the Bergschiffmühle.

I guess the 13th century Wasserschloss Schnaditz (with its English Gardens) doesn’t seem quite as old when compared to the Düben Castle, huh? OK, so we won’t compare then. ;-)

Jumping ahead a few centuries, you’ve got the Pest Portal at the Stadfriedhof (City Cemetery) that was built in 1577, the St. Nikolai Church, then there’s the Blucher Stone (1813), and the Artesian Well that was put here in 1898.

With all this sightseeing you might not notice the signs with the green Gothic styled “L.” So, just in case… I’m pointing it out. Why? Because in 2010 the Lutherweg (which is actually in Saxony-Anhalt, going towards Wittenberg and Mansfeld) was extended and places like Bad Düben were added.

If you don’t feel like going that far, just enjoy the walking paths and bicycle trails through the Dübener Heide. There are even romantic covered wagon rides available.

Then again, lounging around the Kurpark & Spa House all day sounds like a good idea to me. Ahhhh, refreshing! What? Oh, I hope you forgive me… I almost forgot to mention that its Kurpark is one of Germany’s oldest.