Written out, Hilter am Teutoburger Wald is a mouthful (and a half) to say. In the interest of making your life easier (and not make my fingers tired typing), from now on I’ll refer to it simply as Hilter. The Teutoburger Wald might not be necessary when referring to it in print — but, it does say a “hellava” lot about it.

Not only is Hilter situated within the green Teutoburg Forest, more than 50% of all its eight villages is set aside for agriculture. Meaning, you’ll have the chance to eat lots of locally grown produce. It’s OK, you don’t have to tell your mother that she was right — vegetables ARE good for us. :-)

You’re gonna need to be in some sort of good health if you’re going to join the annual Mountain Run (every August). But, if you’d rather just cheer everyone else on that’s OK, too.

Hilter also holds an annual Spring Concert two weeks after Easter and the last Autumn Festival in all of Lower Saxony is held here in, well, Autumn. But, the Ocher Market is only held on odd-numbered years — gives you something to look forward to, I guess.

Something else everyone looks forward to is the first weekend in September when everyone flocks to the Renkenördener See for good food, music, and festivities. It’s not like it can be done all summer long, though, the lake is only open from mid-May to the middle of July from 2pm-6pm.

Just in case you can’t make it here that time of year, Hilter’s got you covered — remember, this is the Teutoburger Forest area we’re talking about. Try doing any part of the 117km Nordic Walking trails (easy… you just walk using poles that resemble ski poles), or just go about it the normal walking way.

Bicycle trails are make their way through the forest and you’ll find plenty of small winding roads to drive along, if you so desire. Oh, OF COURSE, you would desire — seems fitting to drive a German automobile on a small German country road. ;-)

Only in Erlenbach am Main is it possible to enjoy a glass of a good red wine and find yourself exploring the deep reaches of space. No, I didn’t have too many glasses of wine before I wrote this — but, I’m thinking that one sounds good right about now. ;-)

For saftey’s sake, it’s a good thing that the Fränkische Rotwein Wanderweg is a walking route and not a driving one. ;-) It wouldn’t be a good idea to drink your way around the 55km Franconian Red Wine Trail by car.

You’ll find this part of Bavaria quite colorful in the warmer months when all the vineyards are a bloom. Although, I find it quite funny when they’re all covered with snow. What can I say, I find the strangest things hilarious…

In addition to all the wine growing grapes being cultivated here, farming isn’t a new business. The first farms were created way back to around 900 AD and the region has been lived in since the Bronze Age. In fact, some prehistoric grave hill from about 1,000 BC were found.

That just makes the 12th century landmark church of Sts. Peter & Paul seem really young; and the 18th century church of St. Josef a mere baby in time.

After you’ve seen this piece of Earth, come explore the rest of the universe on the Planetenweg. Built on a 1:1,000,000,000 scale (yes, that’s a billion) there’s information on every planet in our solar system with information boards detailing each one. What a great way to see Erlenbach, enjoy the Bavarian sunshine, and learn something new.

When you’d rather turn off the brain and just have a bit of fun, do it at the miniature golf course or at Erlenbach’s outdoor swimming pool. Careen down the waterslide, jump from atop the diving board for an entire day if you so desire since it’s open from 9am-9pm daily.

Just don’t go after you’ve been sampling a lot of that Rotwein earlier in the day. ;-)

From the north, to the east and west, all the way to the south of Germany will you find something, somewhere that will make you want to stop and check it out. No. Correction. Compel you to stop and check it out.

Engen, in the southern part of Baden-Württemberg, is that “compelling” town.

Engen, a town with only about 10,000 residents, really packs a whollop in the sightseeing department; and on the touristy routes department, too. This town lies on the Neckar-Alb-Aare Roman Route and the (deep breath!) Schwarzwald-Querweg Freiburg-Bodensee hiking trail. How’s that for a pretty awesome start?

Whether you choose to follow these roads or not, there’s still plenty more where that came from. If you want a castle, Engen’s got one (at least) and it’s name is Castle Neuhausen. And the Krenkinger Schlössle has been here for more than 800 years, though it has been renovated from time to time (thank that fire in 1640).

Museums? No problem. A visit to the Urban Museum will fit the bill. Not only does it have a large archaeological collection but, it has modern art and many cultural history exhibits.

Engen’s even got an “Old Town” with cobblestone streets, a fountain deadsmack in the center with a church steeple in the background. Who doesn’t have visions of old European villages that look like this? The “Counts” that are buried here at the Church of Maria Ascension only add to the town’s historical charm.

The best festival in Engen is probably Fastnet. Come Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday) that happens before the start of Lent on the Christian calendar is steeped in tradition. Just ask the Fool’s Guild that’s been putting on a spectacle since 1850.

For Engen’s natural beauty, it’ll be hard pressed to find something more beautiful with Stone Age caves awaiting for you to come explore. The Old Town Garden has a war memorial and the New City Garden has a lake. Choose one, choose both — either way you won’t be disappointed.

However, don’t let the name fool you, the large recreational area known as Ice Age Park wasn’t completed until 2003.

Believe me now that Engen is just that fantastic? :-)

I’m confused. Well, I was. Not anymore.

Now, I’m not losing my mind or suffering writer’s block. It’s just that when I heard about Feldkirchen-Westerham’s festive mausoleum, I kind of scratched my head.

But, this is Bavaria and the entire federal state can do no wrong in my eyes. What? They make the world’s best beer. But, let me explain the mausoleum thing before you all think I’ve flipped my lid.

The Stollwerck Mausoleum is the final resting place for a Cologne chocolate maker’s family back in the 1920’s. There’s a chapel within the mausoleum where services are held once a month and where the occasional wedding or baptisms takes place.

Then I though about it, who wouldn’t want to be married in a chapel with gorgeous marble and bronze artwork all over the place?

Thanks for reminding me about the marble. :-) Keep a lookout for the HUGE marble blocks that were placed about town a century ago. Again, I scratched my head wondering why they’re here; but, they just seem to belong somehow.

Also belonging to the pre-Alps are Feldkirchen-Westerham’s castles. Schloss Altenburg is one of the oldest (today with a evangelic meditation center), but it is the Schloss Höhenrain that can claim that title, built just shy of a thousand years ago.

Don’t be fooled by Schloss Staudach, though. Sshhh… between us, this one was built only in 1901.

The finishing touches of Feldkirchen-Westerham’s historical sites would be a trip to see the St. Laurentius Church and the Pilgrimage Church Maria Opferung.

For a piece of entertainment trivia, the castle that you’ll find in the hamlet of Vagen was used as the “setting” of a fictitious hotel in the German series Sturm der Liebe. It’s a real castle, but not a hotel, and has a lovely garden if you want to visit.

Pencil that time in around all the cycling, walking, skiing, and hot springs soaking you’ll be doing while you’re here. Come to think of it, that’s a perfect place to clear your head and not be confused anymore. How do you think I managed to get over it?

OK, that and a Bavarian beer… :-)

It’s hard to think of Germany not cast in a flattering light and I’m not saying that you won’t like Friedland. Hardly, it’s just that Friedland’s location in Lower Saxony is close to the Thuringian and Hessian borders; therefore made it an extremely strategic location during the days of the GDR (German Democratic Republic) — otherwise known as East Germany.

Long before 20th century politics and warfare made Friedland what it was, it was fourteen separate villages each with their own story to tell. Here’s just a sample of what you’ll find in Friedland.

Friedland Proper once had its own castle, though the ruins of it have long been cleared away. Its Schloss, however, is now a nursing home. No harm in taking a few snapshots!

Groß Schneen was found to have been settled since the Stone Age, although it was officially recognized until 1022. That’s just about the time an oak sapling was taking root; still standing today. Not too shabby for a town that was pretty much flattened after the 17th century Thirty Years’ War.

The village of Groß Schneen is Friedland’s cultural hub with a Kirmes (Church) Festival and is always holding concerts, literary readings, among other events.

Klein Schneen has half the population as its bigger sister and almost as much history. But, this is where you’ll find many of Friedland’s half timbered houses (oh, you know the ones — they look like something straight from a fairytale).

Lichtenhagen is the actual village that borders the three federal states and was on the GDR border. In addition to its stately village church, it has a great forest area to walk around. And with no worries about crossing any borders which might have caused an international incident before the opening in 1989. ;-)

As much as Lichtenhagen has a forest, its Reiffenhausen that everyone flocks to for the outdoorsy stuff. You’ll find lots of walking trails, an outdoor pool, a sauna, and lots of camp sites.

Despite just a minute number of years in Friedland’s long past, it IS possible to only see Friedland is a flattering way filled with all the hope and promise of the future — particularly since its name is so befitting… Friedland literally translates to Peace Land! :-)

You’ll find Steinen close to the Swiss border and the Black Forest in the very south of Baden-Württemberg. Steinen doesn’t have a whole heck of a lot to see as far as museums or medieval castles. BUT, that doesn’t mean you’ll be struggling for things to see and do here.

Once you heard Black Forest, bells should have been going “DING DING” in your head. Yes, that means many hiking trails, walking paths, and deliciously good eats.

Aside from the Schwarzwald, many other walking trails lead off from Steinen (maps are available for sale at the Rathaus). One path follows a route that will take you towards the former medieval Monastery Weitenau (one of Steinen’s seven villages); another does a forest expedition in Endenburg (yup, another of Steinen’s villages).

One of the most popular of the walking routes goes towards the Vogelpark Steinen, a bird park. Over 1000 animals live within the park; and it has a tropical house with all sorts of non-native tropical species of plants. One of the more educational aspects of the park involve bird demonstrations with eagles, owls, and falcons.

After the Vogelpark, have some fun at Steinen’s miniature golf course. Don’t say you didn’t come all the way to Germany to play miniature golf. Well, Steinen’s mini golf course is a bit of local gathering center. Come have a bite to eat on the garden terrace and have a go on the 18 holes. Oh, you too will have a good time! Just don’t come on a Wednesday when they’re closed.

That will be a good day to come to Steinen’s outdoor swimming pool where you can join in an aqua fitness or water aerobics class, or just frolick on your own. Let the kids run around the pool complex playground or play a few rounds of table tennis.

The last place to visit in Steinen is the Farmhouse Museum with a look into German agricultural life.

See, I told you that you would have to struggle for something to do in Steinen.

Here I am sitting in the kitchen thinking about the start of Autumn and somehow the town of Süßen comes to mind. I never question how my thought process brings me from one idea to something completely different-I’m kind of used to it by now. Maybe its the “End of Summer Blues”? Whatever that is.

It’s not that Süßen isn’t beautiful in any season. No, I keep thinking about how gorgeous the Farmer’s Garden is that time of year, with an abundance of brightly colored flowers and the smell of fresh herbs centered around an old framework barn.

Summer is when this town in Baden-Württemberg really comes alive, though. Technically the weekend following June 2nd isn’t “Summer,” but it sure feels like it; and it’s a perfect time to celebrate the Schützenfest.

A month later on the weekend after July 2nd is the Town Festival.

The only festivals in town that take place outside of Summer is the annual Easter and Christmas Markets, respectively. Oh, and the Cultural Spring (Süßener Kulturfrühling) — a lively musical festival — I can’t leave that one out, either.

If you can’t make it for all the revelry, you won’t be short of anything to do. Süßen’s got enough sightseeing to hold its own, besides the Farmer’s Garden. Many visitors come to see the Gothic Old Marienkirche and the nearby Burg Ramsburg; even though its now private property and its donjon (tower) is long gone.

Don’t be upset about that because for a castle experience, it’s Burg Staufeneck that you want. Historians have argued over how old the castle is, some say back around 1080 and others say around the year 1200. Argue amongst yourselves over dinner at the castle, because its now a restaurant and hotel.

It’ll be nice to sleep like royalty after spending a few days sightseeing in town and in the neighboring forest. All those walking trails and cycling paths on the Swabian Alb can sure make one tired.

After wandering around those for a while, you’ll be too worn out for anything so silly as the “End of Summer Blues.” ;-)

The Hessian town of Schlitz REALLY (really, really) lives up to its motto: Romantik Trifft Lebensfreude. While somethings NEVER (never, ever) translate properly, it basically means romance is the joy of life. For which you’ll find both romance and joy along Schlitz’s cobblestoned streets smattered with so many framework buildings (especially on the Marktplatz).

Romance, fairytales, castles (there are FIVE of them here). Hmmm, yes, I’m starting to see a pattern here. You too? :-)

On top of it, it doesn’t even take itself too seriously. Look, any town that turns its landmark castle tower (Hinterturm) into the “world’s largest (red) candle” during Advent, is a town that knows how to have fun. OK, OK, I know you’re thinking that candles are indicative of a romantic and festive theme; but, it’s still funny nonetheless.

I want the person that thought that up to come to my next party — they’d be a hoot! :-)

Thanks for mentioning parties because Schlitz can throw a dandy fine one. When visiting on odd-numbered years, there’s the Schlitz-Land Costume Festival (2nd weekend in July); in even-numbered years, the Beer Festival reigns supreme. Although, you don’t have to wait for that to join in a beer making tour about town.

All right, back to the romantic part of Schlitz (it’s hard — ’cause I really like the beer thing). Imagine walking along many of the hiking trails through the Hessian countryside, or horseback riding instead. If you’re really (really) ambitious, why not hop in a canoe and row.

If you’re more the type to jump in the water, in lieu of riding on the river that shares a name with the town, do it at either the indoor or outdoor pools.

Save some energy to visit Schlitz’s local history museum (called Heimatmuseum), its Castle Museum, and to lift those pints of locally brewed beers at Oktoberfest.

I hope Romance can find me. I left a message saying that I’d be enjoying a brew outside at one of Schlitz’s beer gardens.

Selfkant is a cartographer’s nightmare town. Sorry, don’t want to scare you — the town itself is quite lovely — just if you were a map maker within the last 50 to 60 or so years, Selfkant would have made you bummed.

What the heck am I talking about? Thanks for asking — let me explain…

After the Second World War, Selfkant was no longer part of Germany. It was annexed to the Netherlands, for which it shares a large chuck of border, and residents were even given Dutch passports.

It wasn’t until 1963 that Selfkant went back to its German roots. See, German — not German. Dutch — not Dutch. Confusing, no?

Well, at least Selfkant got a bit more worldwide recognition for belonging to the so-called Zipfelbund, a Federation of the four outermost German cities: List (northernmost), Görlitz (easternmost), Oberstdorf (southernmost), and good ol’ Selfkant (westernmost).

Selfkant’s 16 villages are quite tiny, one of which (Dieck) has only ten residents! It would be hard to try ducking your neighbor there, huh?

Despite any border or other issues of citizenship, Selfkant has lots of windmills in the area — just in case you’re the type to find them historical and romantic (like I do). Yes, I said it R-O-M-A-N-T-I-C.

And I’m gonna say it again because the old steam trains could be considered romantic. The steam train museum is only a few Euro and I haven’t met a little boy yet that doesn’t love trains.

Just a quick tip, there’s an animal park (a.k.a. petting zoo, called a Tierpark here in Germany) in neighboring Gangelt, that’s perfect for a day of family fun.

The Farmer’s Museum, a little less romantic but, still quite informative. It’s only open April to October on Wednesdays and Sundays from 1pm-6pm.

Back to the romantic parts of Selfkant, which would be walking along a few of the nature protected areas where you’ll see plenty of flowers and other local fauna blooming.

I don’t think all the natural areas care about old borders and whatnot; and with German, Dutch, and English widely spoken you won’t either. So long as you’re not a cartographer, right? ;-)

It’s been hard not to sing the Little Red Riding diddy in my head when thinking about the Hessian town of Schauenburg. Oh, don’t pretend you don’t know it, “Over the river and through the woods to grandmother’s house we go.”

Except in this case you’re not going to good ol’ grannie’s, you’ll find yourself in a wonderland of the Brothers Grimm. Maybe this is why Schauenburg is on the German Fairtytale Road? Ohhh, am I a smart one? ;-)

In addition, there is a weekly fairytale dedication to the Brothers Grimm every Sunday from 3pm-6pm at Langstrasse 2.

Come see what village life was really like with clothing and other little tidbits at appropriately named Village Life Museum. There is no entrance fee, but the museum is only open on the 1st Sunday of the month from 2pm-5pm.

Even within the Nature Park Habichtswald are more little sites that would make the Grimm Brothers proud. It’ll be the coldest of hearts that won’t love the Löwenburg Castle, that isn’t the medieval ruin it leads you on to believe. It wasn’t built until the 1800’s and wasn’t a ruin until bombings from World War II did the burg in.

However, Landgrave Wilhelm XI had a vision of the medieval when everyone else was building the Baroque. Hats off to the good Count, for incredible taste.

When the castle has fascinated you enough (not possible in my eyes; but, it could happen) there are many other activities within the Park; like soaking in a thermal bath, ride a horse, bicycle, or take a glider plane ride. Come winter, add skiing or snow mobiling to the mix of it all.

PLUS (no, not done yet), Schauenburg has four walking trails to keep you busy enough. One keeps with the fairtytale theme; another is just your average walking route through the forest (no, it’s not enchanted); the third is an ecological friendly archaeological route, and the fourth is known as the Eco Path Altenburg & Falkenstein — sound good, right?

Finish your stay in Schauenburg on the Hessencourrier, a historic steam train that follows along flowered meadows, under old stone bridges, and just transports you back to the golden age of the railroad.

With transport like that, I don’t think Little Red had it so good on her way to Oma’s (that would be grandmom’s; but, we’re in Germany — remember? ;-)