For arguments sake, let’s say this wonderful article on Hachenburg is supposed to be on the town. But, really, it isn’t fair to leave out the thirty-two (yeah, 32) other towns and villages that make up the Collective Municipality of Hachenburg, found in the Westerwald.

I’m not adding all these other towns in to fill in space — nothing could be further from the truth. There’s a whole bunch of stuff to do around here; and one of my favorites is the beer garden in the Abtei Marientstatt.

This isn’t your average medieval Cistercian monastery, mind you. You can imbibe at the Marienstatter Brauhaus, or spend a few nights at its Guesthouse. Just remember, this is Germany, so when they say that dinner’s at 6:00 pm — they don’t mean 6:05. ;-)

The huge monastery complex isn’t the only thing to catch your attention. Hachenburg is full of half-timbered houses; even the local Tourist Office is located in one that used to be the former Town Hall. You’ll find a whole bunch of the fairytale looking buildings along the pedestrian zone on Wilhelmstraße, OK?

Keep an eye out for the Steinerne Haus, once the only stone building in all of Hachenburg (and it dates back to 1439).

Hachenburg Castle is much older than that, although you’d never guess it these days. It was originally constructed as a fortress in the 12th century — and has since been rebuilt a number of times over the years. Oh, and the Castle Garden is just lovely.

We’re not even done half of what Hachenburg (the town) has to offer, but I thought it might be nice to give a shout-out to some of its other towns. What can I tell you? Oh yes, there are more half-timbered houses to be found in Heimborn, and in Dreifelden you’ll find an 11th century Romanesque church. I think you’ll love the frescoes in the 13th century church over in Höchstenbach, too.

As for festivals, you’ll find them taking place all over Hachenburg (both the town and municipality). Over in Limbach there’s a Bridge Festival (2nd Saturday in July); a May Festival in Giesenhausen, and a Folk Festival (2nd weekend of August) and Catherine Market (in November) in Hachenburg proper.

All that’s missing is a scenic route, right? Nope, that’s here too — the Westerwaldsteig comes right though, so get on some hiking shoes and walk, walk, walk.

Whether you’re talking about the town or collective municipality of Hachenburg, you’re going to enjoy everything about it. Trust me, I know these things. ;-)

That very famous playwright, Shakespeare, wrote, what’s in a name?

I’ll tell you, what’s in a name, if you want to know. How about this… Just about anything with the name “Bad” in it, is good in Germany. Very, very good.

So, Bad Marienberg (Westerwald) isn’t bad, after all, it’s quite good.

The name “Bad” means it’s a “spa” town, all the better to get pampered then, huh?

And a good place to start is the Spa Garden, a Kneipp area that’s even got a whole course designed for you to walk without any shoes on. Don’t you remember what it was like a kid to run through the grass without shoes on? Yeah, you can feel like that once again.

You’ll probably need shoes to hike Bad Marienberg’s many hiking trails, which will take you around places like the old basalt quarry. The Westerwaldsteig, a 200km long-distance hiking route, comes right through town; but I suggest you stick around for while before flittering off. Because, just so you know, there’s a myriad of stuff to do.

You know, like miniature golfing, a chance to play tennis or beach volleyball, go mountain biking or horseback riding, paragliding, or do some great winter sports (tobogganing, skiing, that sort of thing).

Inasmuch as Bad Marienberg is good for your mental health, it’s good for the brain, too. A Local History Museum (called Heimatmuseum, located at Wilhelmstraße 10) is great for learning all about this Westerwald town.

And, at the town’s Wildlife Park, you can find out all kinds of nifty things like Falconry — in addition to seeing peacocks, wild boar, and bison.

Not to forget the Apothekergarten, or Pharmacist Garden, a garden full of medical herbs and plants. Hmmm, it smells so good around here…

I must go on to Bismarckstraße, the Basaltpark awaits me — an area (they even call it an outdoor museum) with basalt from volcano activities from like 25 million years ago, basalt mining exhibits included.

The place isn’t all spa services, learning experiences, and outdoor sports. There are old sites in town, like the Pfarrkirche (Parish Church) that’s been here for more than 700 years.

And the town’s got more cultural events than you can imagine. The Kirmes in May is a lot of fun, as is the Summer Festival, not to mention all the Christmas events held throughout the holiday season.

So, the next time the question comes up about a name — remember that good things are sometimes called “Bad.”

You want to know what’s really funny about a town that’s supposed to be famous as a “market” town? Well, at least I think so — it’s the fact that I remembered Bechhofen, a small Middle Franconian town more for its art and architecture than anything I bought around the place.

Not that you’ll have time to buy anything, this place will keep you too busy.

Where to start, is a good question to ask. Bechhofen’s got some twenty-eight districts, found just to the south of the city of Ansbach — so you don’t want to just go wandering aimlessly around, do you?

Nope, didn’t think so — so I’m going to tell you to start right at the Rathaus (Town Hall). From here it’s just a two minute walk to the Deutsche Pinsel- und Bürstenmuseum, or German Brushes Museum, so named because this town is worldwide renown for the brush.

Thanks, it reminded me to paint my walls…

From there it’s just another few minutes over to the Blütenstraße to see the old Jewish cemetery from the first years of the 1700s.

All right, at this point I should’ve told you the best way to get around is by bicycle. It’s only about 2km to the Krummweiher, a recreational area of a water and heath landscape. From here it’s a good 20km to the Schlosspark Dennenlohe, a garden area that makes a good rest stop after biking so far. Too bad the castle is only open just a few days a year — but won’t you be the lucky one if you’re here for that.

With all this exercise you’re bound to have worked up some kind of appetite, so go on over to the Schmalzmühle Käserei. All kinds of cheeses await you here, but if you’re really brave, try the Baurenrebell, a pickled cheese and herb concoction.

You’ve biked and ate, learned some history and soaked in some culture — now it’s time to just relax; and Bechhofen’s Fränkisches Seenland – Altmühlsee is the right place to do it. Whether its sailing or swimming, this lake area is the best of Bavaria; and great enough to remember over shopping.

All right, I’m finding that writing about Dettingen unter Teck, a mini-town of sorts in Württemberg, is really difficult.

Sometimes it’s hard to find things to see and do at first glance — for crying out loud, the place isn’t even 16 square kilometers. Maybe I’m expecting more from a town in the Swabian Alb than I should be?

No, I know exactly what I’m expecting, and it’s totally up to me to find it; and find it I did, going all the way to the days of Romans, as a matter of fact.

The Kastell Dettingen unter Teck was once a Roman military camp, from sometime around the 2nd century A.D. Yeah, that’s more than eighteen centuries ago; and an object and artifact has found its way to the State Museum in nearby Stuttgart. Quite impressive, I must say.

The “kastell” of the Romans is much older than Burg Teck, but a medieval castle is nothing to sneeze at. The view from its 773 meter high “perch” above the Swabian landscape is nothing short of spectacular — and today it is a restaurant, and has a lookout tower, so no royal blood needed to visit — it’s open to everyone.

Even if Dettingen unter Teck doesn’t have anything else other than castles, it’s all right, it’s got chocolate. For the last fifty years (give or take), this has been the home-base for Rübezahl Chocolates. All is right with the world when you’ve got a chocolate bar handy. Remember to take one or two with you while you’re off exploring the Swabian Alb — part of Dettingen even lies within the Swabian Alb Biosphere Reserve, so make sure you dispose of your wrappers properly. ;-)

A lot of Dettingen is “au natural,” as more than a quarter of the town is entirely forested. Beautiful, to say the least, so you’re bound to fall in love with any (or all) of it out on a hiking or biking trail.

As if that’s not enough, there are quite a number of antique shops, and outdoor recreational sports like tennis and miniature golfing, to keep you busy.

I was right on to expect more from Dettingen unter Teck; and I found so much more along the way.

How many vampire movies have you seen where the undead was like a thousand years old? A lot, right?

As interesting as it would be to live (or, would that be eternally undead) for that many years — it got me to thinking about places that are that old. Welcome to Dietzhölztal, a town in Hesse that’s been around since the year 800 A.D.

Excuse me, for the sake of German precision, the village of Mandeln in Dietzhölztal has been around for the last twelve centuries. And to be even more precise, I’d say the village of Rittershausen is actually older, proven by the Ringwall Rittershausen. It goes back to Celtic times, dating from around the 5th century B.C.

Hmm, sounds much older than the Middle Ages to me. I don’t care that the historians say Rittershausen didn’t come along until the 10th century or so. ;-)

The funny thing about the Middle Ages is it has given us some of the most amazing architecture, albeit mostly churches and castles.

Ok, so maybe there aren’t really any castles nearby — but there are plenty of churches. A Romanesque one awaits in the village of Ewersbach, as well as chapel (now Protestant) built sometime in the 1200s.

Despite not being truly medieval, famous framework houses give Dietzhölztal a true Old World feel. Ewersbach has some great half-timbered houses fromm the 18th century. These architectural gems aren’t limited to just Ewersbach either, you’re able find them in Rittershausen, Steinbrücken, and Mandeln.

Mandeln is big on tradition, by the way. For more than 400 years this village has been holding its famous markets (the Autumn Market is held on the last Monday of October). Come, shop, eat, and be part of centuries old history. The MayPole festivities are also a big deal around here, and come June when you can see how charcoal was made the old-fashioned way.

I’m pretty sure they’ve got it spot on for the way it was done back in medieval times, but if I find a thousand year old vampire from Dietzhölztal — I’ll be sure to ask them. ;-)

Who isn’t up for learning something everyday? So what if you already learned something this very fine day, add a small lesson about the town of Westhausen in the Ostalbkreis, OK?

It isn’t as if there is a test at the end of this filled with names and dates. I won’t do that to you, promise. I just got all excited about learning how this place is found in the Jagsttal area in the Härtsfeld, which belongs to the Swabian Alb, that I had to share the knowledge.

What’s the big deal, you ask? Well, for anyone looking to get away from the hectic world, you’ve found the right spot — this isn’t a very populated conservation area filled with all kinds of castles along the way.

Just perfect for exploring bike trails along an old Roman Road, or hiking along in search of the perfect medieval castle.

If you’re interested, Kapfenburg Castle is a good one from the Middle Ages, as well as having been upgraded through the years; and once owned by the German Order. Close to here is Westhausen’s outdoor pool with a waterslide for loads of fun.

See, lots of cool stuff to learn. ;-)

Oh yeah, I learned about how Westhausen holds an annual New Years Eve Procession (known as Silvesterritt) in honor of St. Silvester on his Feast Day, because of a miracle he did back during the Thirty Years’ War. Here you’ll see men riding horseback wearing period garb of the day — a living, breathing history lesson. There’s a pilgrimage chapel (Silvesterkapelle) built in his honor, too.

Westhausen doesn’t just have the one church to see. There is a bunch of them, like the neo-Romanesque St. Catherine’s, the late Gothic St. Stephen’s, and the church over in the village of Lippach is said to house a “Blood Relic.”

In between trying to get that all in, try adding cross-country skiing, tennis, horse riding, fishing, and skating to the list of things to do.

Isn’t this some exciting stuff to learn? Just promise if you find anything else out, you’ll share the knowledge here.

Far be it from me to judge anyone who wants to come to a Bavarian town like Bad Berneck to simply take horseback riding lessons. Seriously, I can’t think of a better place than right here in the Fichtelgebirge, located just 13 km north-northeast of Bayreuth.

A leisurely ride on a majestic animal isn’t Bad Berneck’s only highlight either. Heck no, this is a posh spa town with both history and culture and plenty to keep you busy. You’ll be busy eating, that’s for sure, since there are quite a number of local restaurants serving everything from International cuisine to local Franconian-Bavarian specialties.

Here’s where I’d normally make a joke about beer being a local specialty (being this is Bavaria), but wouldn’t it be nice to sit in a local beer garden after a long day of sightseeing around the Kurpark (with its grand colonnades), or the Burgruine Hohenberneck and its Marienkapelle? I think so, it’s the perfect place to discuss the town’s history and architecture.

And the beer gardens are where many local motorcyclists meet up after a day of riding around the town’s winding roads. Don’t have a motorcycle? Not a problem, there are plenty of hiking trails, like the Jean Paul Weg (an 18th century German writer), and on Tuesdays there are guided walks from May to September.

A bit more leisurely paced would be to meander around the Kunststraße (the Art Road through the Old Town), or the Botanical Garden; home to more than four dozen species of trees alone — with guided walks by a real botanist are available from April to October.

Between you and me, I think September has to be the most outstanding month to visit Bad Berneck. Not for any other reason than that the town hosts both a Fishing Festival and a Wine Festival this time of year. I’m not taking anything away from the Maypole celebrations, the Blossom Festival, the Castle Festival, or the Kerwe, mind you.

However, this is a spa town, so just about anytime you choose to come would be fantastic — care to meet at the Kneipp Spa? :-)

When it became Altbach’s turn at the keyboard I’d thought to tackle it like I did most German towns. Simple, so it seemed.

Just so you know, not much is ever how it appears.

One thing about this Swabian town that you might notice right away is how teensy-tiny it is, just a tad over three square kilometers.

It’s rumored that good things come in small packages, by the way, and I’m inclined to agree.

How could you say otherwise, considering Altbach sits (very) nicely along the Schurwald near the Swabian Alb. And it has quite a long history, too.

Archaeological finds around the area date all the way back some 6500 years ago, an urnfield from 1800 B.C. was discovered, and the Alemanni once ruled over the area during the early Middle Ages. Before them came the Romans and Merovingians, after came the Hohenstaufens and the von Habsburgs.

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times, Germany’s many Local History Museums (known as Heimatmuseen) are great for learning all about this kinda stuff — and Altbach’s is no different.

It’ll be nice to hear how the town rebuilt itself after suffering terribly during the Thirty Years’ War, where only 140 people remained. Thankfully, Altbach has seen a steady population growth over the last four centuries.

And if you want to see what it was like in the “Olden Days,” go to the Alte Schmiede (Old Smithy) where you can see first-hand about blacksmithing and farming.

With old towns you’ll generally find an old church or two, Altbach is no different. You’d never know that the Ulrichskirche was as old as it was because it was rebuilt in 1736, but its original goes all the way back to 1514.

What else can you see in this Neckar Valley town? A festival or two, to say the least. No one should pass up a party at its Dorffest (Village Festival), or its Christmas Market that’s always held on the second Saturday in December.

And the Rathaus (Town Hall, the new one) is the cultural center of town, and you’ll find there are all sorts of cultural events taking place.

Altbach simple? Simply great, if you ask me. And what’s also great is that you’ll find the world’s first Peoplemover for rail tracks here in this town.

For anyone looking to enjoy the best of the Stade Geest, you might find the town of Fredenbeck centrally located to do the best this nature area has to offer. This collective municipality is found right next door to Stade, as well as close enough to Hamburg to get here quite easily.

It’s also easy enough to find if you’re traveling on such scenic routes as the Elbe Cycle Route (Elberadweg), the German Ferries Route, the Lower Saxon Milk Route (Niedersächsische Milchstraße), and the North Sea Cycle Route (Nordseeküstenradweg), all of which are in close distance.

Didn’t I tell you it was in just the perfect location? ;-)

Now that you’re here, what is there to do? Well, I’d say that the best of Freenbeck (its Low German name) is best when you’re outdoors. There’s a really nice golf course here, as well as horseback riding, and kilometer upon kilometer of bike and hike trails.

Ohh, a really fun way to see Fredenbeck is aboard the Moor Express, which operates only between the beginning of May to the beginning of October. But, you’re more than welcome to see visit the Kleinbahnmuseum (Small Railway Museum) just about anytime of year.

A trip in the great outdoors will also take you to see sights like the Fortress Grauenrort, built by the Prussians back in the 19th century. And it’s also a good way to see the Gardens of Europe, full of blooming brightly colored flowers. If you’re not afraid of a little hard work, you can learn firsthand how peat is processed for fuel.

The Heimatmuseum (Local History Museum) in the village of Kutenholz shows how the peat industry, as well as agriculture, and even shoe making contributed to the town’s success.

When nothing but relaxation is on your mind, think of the town’s swimming complex. It’s got a sandy beach, a playground, and even BBQ areas for everyone to enjoy — and the best part? It’s totally free!

As if saving some money isn’t enough of a reason to come to Fredenbeck, think of all the wonderful things you’re getting to see on top of it here in Lower Saxony.

There are a number of pages on MyGermanCity.com, mentioning how small some towns and villages are in Germany. So, it kind of surprised me that Bakum in Lower Saxony is said to be the smallest in its district (Vechta District), at mere 79 square kilometers.

That certainly isn’t tiny — but the fact that less than 6,000 people live here, it means there’s lots of room to spread out.

Honestly, the countryside of Bakum is what truly stands out. Nowhere is this more evident than the Polder Lüscher, a floodplain area that’s also a conservation area along the North German Plain — whatever that means. I can sum it up quite simply by saying, it’s a nature area that’s home to all sorts of animals and plants.

Because the area is mainly flat, it’s really good to experience by bicycle. Guided bike tours are available for anyone interested; and botanical walks are also given for anyone who wants to join in.

It’s all in addition to the many festive events going on in town. It seems just about every month there’s something going on; and they’re multi-day events to boot. The Summer Festival goes on for 2 days, so does the Lüscher Kirmes in July, and the Volksfest at the end of May.

And even if the Thanksgiving Ball at the end of September, the Corpus Christi Procession, and the Autumn Fair don’t go on for days, you’ll still have a wonderful time.

It’s all right if you can’t make it to Bakum’s Christmas Market, you’ll have another opportunity — there are two of them.

All of this is within an easy distance of many of Germany’s bigger cities — Vechta is located just next door to the east, while others are not too far either.

So it seems Bakum is big on area, big on outdoor recreation, and big on festive fun — what more can anyone ask for?