Suppose you’re in Nuremberg looking for a day trip out into the suburbs? Let me start by saying as hard as it is not to leave this amazingly historical city, it’s just… otherwise you’d be missing out on towns like Rednitzhembach if you didn’t.

Rednitzhembach is found just south of Nuremberg along the Rhine–Main–Danube Canal and the Rednitz River (great for canoeing, BTW), which flows right into the bigger Regnitz River.

Now that you can find it, let’s go explore it.

One of the best times to come is during the summer when the the town holds the Klassik Open-Air that’s held on the first Saturday of the Summer Holidays. Bring a blanket, a picnic, and enjoy all the cultural festivities.

This isn’t the only event in town, by the way. On Weißer Sonntag (Low Sunday), the town’s fountain is all decorated for the Easter holidays. And on the first Sunday of Advent the Freiwillige Feuerwehr (Volunteer Fire Department) holds a huge wurst and wine soiree. The day before is the Advent Market, filled with crafts and books for sale, as well as offering a visit from Santa Claus.

Thanks, Santa, for taking a break from your busy Christmas season to visit us. ;-)

Before you ask if there are any other festivals and events going on, yes there are. The Kirchweih (a Church Fair) comes four weeks after Pentecost and the Spring Concert’s held two weeks after Easter.

What’s really great about Rednitzhembach is that it doesn’t let something as cold as winter stop it from doing great stuff. Guided winter hikes are often going on; and the Kunstweg (Art Trail) is always there to see.

If you get too cold you can always come indoors to the Kinomuseum, a museum of Pre-war art. All you gotta do is call ahead since they only open by appointment.

Rednitzhembach might have a bunch of festivals and cultural events, but it only has a handful of old buildings to see. The Evangelical Church is one of ’em. Built sometime in the 15th century, it started out as some family’s private chapel. Then there’s the Alte Rathaus (Old Town Hall), a former mansion that was built in 1880.

To some Rednitzhembach might not have a lot to see, but to others you couldn’t ask for a better small town to visit when you wanna get away from the big city chick. At least I think so anyway. ;-)

For those of you who want to ask, how do you manage to get from town to town, I’m here to answer that. Effective time-management.

I’m already on my second Palatinate town this week — but I don’t think I’m going anywhere anytime soon. I’ve fallen in love with Annweiler am Trifels.

Who cares if you’ve heard me say this before. I mean it this time — and you would say it too if you were a sucker for a Crown Jewels Collection like me. ;-)

It isn’t just the replica of the Crown Jewels of the Holy Roman Empire in the odd-looking Reichsburg Trifels that did it for me. And yes, I said odd looking. This isn’t some fancy Renaissance castle, nor is it some Gothic arch-windowed medieval one.

Reichsburg Trifels can boast that it was actually built during the Middle Ages — it has a more squat Romanesque architecture design. No wonder though, it was built on this 494-meter high mountainside in the 11th century, long before Gothic was all the rage.

One famous “guest” at this former Hohenstaufen castle was Richard the Lion Hearted; another, King Philip of Swabia. OK, they weren’t exactly pampered guests — they spent their time here in the castle’s dungeon.

Not exactly the best way to see the Palatinate Forest or experience the benefits of this health resort town, is it? And I don’t think Rick and Phil would think of the Middle Ages in such a romanticized way as everyone does during the annual Mittelaltermarkt (Medieval Market).

Can’t make that? It’s all right… Maybe you can come for the Keschdefescht in October, or the obligatory, charming Christmas Market in November/December.

One of the biggest events around Annweiler is the Summer of Culture, with all sorts of events going on at the Rathausplatz.

In between all that, go visit the Museum unterm Trifels. This Local History Museum is unique in that it’s spread out over three (yeah, 3) half-timbered houses; which aren’t the only ones, BTW.

Do you see now why I say I’m in love with Annweiler am Trifels? History and intrigue, gems and jewels, festivals with medieval jesters — yeah, I’m so hooked.

Lucky enough to have been bicycling around Lower Saxony? Not yet? No time like the present, and no place better to do it than in Emlichheim where you’ll find signs in both High and Low German.

Talk about bike friendly, and they even got an official badge. There are a huge number of bike trails through the countryside, and thanks to the relatively flat terrain, it’s quite easy.

Don’t hand me that excuse that you’re too old, it’s been years since you’ve been on a bike — blah, blah, blah.

It’s true, you don’t really ever forget how. And if you don’t, you’ll miss out on the Grafschafter Fietsentour routes that lead all around the German and Dutch countrysides.

These are some scenic routes of sorts, ranging in length from a mere 25km to a whopping 600km. The numbers 11, 12, 13, and 25 wind their way through Emlichheim and its environs, depending on what you want to see.

One route goes along the way of the Vechte River, a quiet and peaceful area with a meandering river and tall trees. But, between you and me, when the leaves change colors in the Fall is the absolute best time to do this 43km Emmelkamp Route.

One of the most fun routes is the 600km Pionierroute that goes through the Emsland, right into the Netherlands following the footsteps of the long-gone smugglers who used to run their goods this way.

I know, these routes might seem like a daunting task. Relax, from April to October (weekends only) there’s the Fietsbus. Hundreds of buses come along to bring you a town or two over, or back to where you started.

Throughout the many bike routes surrounding Emlichheim are quaint guesthouses, charming cottages, and well-appointed apartments.

Non-biking folks, there’s something to be found in Emlichheim for you too. The Kunstwege are some 30 sculptures of art created by a variety of artists over the course of two decades — making some older than others. Nice, either way. ;-)

Emlichheim even has a Geschichtspfad, or Historical Trail. You know you’re on the right one when you see the brownish/red steels with historical info of the area. Just so you know, there are 12 of them.

I can tell you about one historical site, the Reformierte Kirche — the Reformed Church that was built in 1150. Yeah, that’s historical I’d say.

It’s easy to forget about the bikes, walks, and history when you’re caught up having a good time. Which is easily done at the Schützenfest, the Maypole festivities, the Summer Festival (2nd weekend of July), the Barn Festival (1st weekend of September), the Fall Festival a week later, and the Loarscher Markt on the third Saturday in August.

I was a bit out of order here. Very un-German of me. But that’s not something you’ll ever say of Emlichheim. ;-)

If it wasn’t for Wagner’s Der Ring des Nibelungen, or The Ring of the Nibelung, many of us might never had heard the story of the Nibelungenlied, or The Song of the Nibelungs.

The opera talks (sings, silly me) of greed, love, and revenge. Same as the story of the Nibelungenlied, a story written by an unknown author from the Middle Ages.

This Nibelungen Route is fairly long and includes the shorter Nibelung-Siegfried Route, another scenic route in Germany. It is about some of the same characters mentioned in the epic story.

Start of the Nibelungen Route

The Nibelungen Route starts in Xanten, the city where Siegfried was born. Every year on Ascension Day there’s a Siegfried Festival, but you’re able to visit the Siegfriedmuseum (formerly called Nibelungen(h)ort) just about any time. Same for the St. Victor Cathedral and the Archaeology Park with its Roman Museum.

Königswinter might be more familiar to those who know the story of Charlemagne, but it is where the Nibelungenlied says Siegfried slays a dragon. A visit to the Nibelungenhalle (Nibelung Hall), the Zoo, the Drachenhöhle (Dragon’s Cave), and the ruins of a 12th century castle are all you need to know. ;-)

Sorry, no dragon slaying in Alzey. It’s the vineyards and half-timbered houses that you’ll want to see, as well as the “Ring of the Nibelungs” at its fountain.

Stop in Gernsheim to see its wonderful Baroque church (with an onion dome, no less), or to party at its annual Fisherman’s Festival before you advance to our next stop on the Nibelungen Route.

Worms is vital to the story of the Nibelungenlied. It’s where the Kings of Burgundy held court, and a proper place for a Nibelungen Museum. Worms’ St. Peter’s Cathedral is the other must-see while traveling along this fairytale journey.

Wait. I take that back. It’s believed that the Nibelungenlied was a story (a legend?) about real people from around the 5th or 6th century. The Burgundians were real, as were the Huns who are also mentioned.

The Burgundians, BTW, were actually said to be Scandinavian, and thought to have originated from some eastern Germanic Tribe.

Anyway, back to the Nibelungen Route…

Lorsch, most famous for its Abbey, is on the route because in the story Kriemhild’s mother (that would be Siegfried’s mother-in-law) was said to have donated money to this 8th century abbey. In reality, the Lorsch Abbey did receive donations from a woman benefactress; and is now a much-visited UNESCO World Heritage Site.

Isn’t it nice to put real places with those of a story? I hope this incredible tale (that’s been called “the Iliad of Germany”) has started to come alive for you.

Up until Wertheim, this longer Nibelungen Route now shares its path with the Nibelung-Siegfried Route.

Siegfried was said (or sung) to be murdered in the hamlet of Odenheim (part of Östringen). Make a prayer for him at the Siegfriedbrunnen fountain (after snapping photos).

Chapter XXI of The Song of the Nibelungs mentions our next town. Großmehring is where the Burgundians crossed the Danube river — except that it was called Moeringen.

Whatever it’s called, Großmehring has a Nibelung Museum (located at the Rathaus (Town Hall)), a Nibelung Fountain, and a gorgeous 13th century church. Not bad for a prehistoric town that has seen everyone from Celts, to Romans and a slew of Germanic Tribes.

Located on the Limes (the edge of the Roman Empire — not the citrus fruit) is Pförring. The Nibelungenlied says this is where Siegfried’s wife’s (Kriemhild in German, Gudrun in English) was met on her way to Etzel’s Castle from the city of Worms. It’s also where the Swan Maidens had a hand in the death of Hagen (Siegfried’s murderer).

Plattling is where Kriemhild spent the night on her trek to Passau. However, where she stayed is a bit different from where you’ll find Plattling today because the entire village was moved in 1370 in order to avoid flooding.

I can’t even begin to think how you move an entire village. I can, however, think about how great the Nibelungen Festival is. Too bad it takes place only once every four years (I missed the one in 2010). In between is the Nibelung Market, which also takes place every four years (and again, I missed it in 2008). Next time, we’ll be there, OK?

Passau is the last town on the Nibelungen Route (the German portion, that is), and it’s thought that the tale was written here. No evidence says for sure, but experts believe they have enough to believe it. The story says that Kriemhild’s uncle was the Bishop of Passau, which is the reason why you’ve come.

After you’ve finished the story of The Song of the Nibelungs, you’ll enjoy the city of Passau — called the Dreiflüssestadt (City of Three Rivers) because it’s where the Inn, the Ilz, and the mighty Danube got married.

Oh wait, the Nibelungenlied story doesn’t end in Passau — it continues on to Austria. And in fact, the Nibelungen Route goes along the Danube until Esztergom in Hungary. But, I think I’m staying right here in Passau to visit the massive Veste Oberhaus (a former fortress), the Maria Hilf Monastery, and to raise my glass of beer to whomever wrote this incredible tale.

Nibelungen Route Web Site

For a bit more information, here is the Web site of the Nibelungen Route.

Had I not been a huge history buff, I would never have known from the looks of Malchow that it was once where one of the most notorious women’s concentration camps had been located.

Yeah, I know, I don’t usually start off these town bits with this much bluntness. But no matter how I phrase it, amidst all the scenic beauty of the surrounding Müritz National Park, this was once where you’d have found the Malchow Concentration Camp; a sub-camp of the women’s Ravensbrück camp.

At Lagerstraße 375 is a memorial to the ladies who were imprisoned here.

The camp is long gone, but the beauty of the countryside is eternal. Sadly World War II wasn’t the only time that Malchow has managed to be hit by war, suffering tremendously during the Thirty Years’ War, and was once the stomping ground of the Saxons.

You’d have thought since it was an island it would have afforded it some level of protection.

Today the town has seen a Renaissance of sorts. If you’re boating your way along the Müritz-Elbe Waterway to Lake Plau you’re going to see Malchow. Oh ho, if you think you’re just going to sail on by — nope. You have to wait for the Drehbrücke (Swing Bridge) to open, and it only does it once an hour — which in itself is an unforgettable experience.

Please don’t be impatient, and don’t go boating off too fast. Come ashore to see the Mecklenburg Organ Museum (housed in the Monastery Church), the old fashioned Windmill, and the Heimatmuseum (Local History Museum).

To go back for a minute, the Windmill is the venue for the Mühlenfest (Mill Festival) that’s held every Whit Monday. And the Monastery Church was part of the Monastery Malchow that was built here in 1235. Even older are the remains of an old Slavic castle from around the 900s to the turn of the last millennium.

Damn that’s old — and I thought turning 40 was rough. ;-)

I suppose I should go reflect on that you’re only as old as you feel at the Blütengarten, a flower garden that’s open May to October, Monday to Friday — and offers gardening tips.

Where to go next? I’ll say a visit to the Jewish Cemetery is in order, followed by a visit to the DDR Museum. This museum delves into life during the Soviet occupation, when this area was once part of East Germany.

Maybe this is why the swing bridge only opens once an hour, giving you the chance to experience Malchow for yourself.

When I first heard about the Oierhiartn in Mitterteich I thought it might’ve been a drinking game, especially when you factor in the Zoiglausschank.

Go ahead, ask me what the hell I’m talkin’ about. ;-)

Wait. Wait. Wait, ’til you hear this — look, I’m laughing so hard I can’t even type.

Picture brightly colored Easter eggs. Now imagine smacking them on your head, all in the attempt to not break it. Yeah, that’s the Oierhiartn, or Ostereiertitschen in Standard German, Egg Fight in English. Whosever egg doesn’t break is the winner — and it all comes down to physics and… the egg.

And the Zoiglausschank can be either a light or dark, but it’s all a bottom-fermented beer. Mitterteich is one of a few towns that makes this stuff — so, can you see why I thought the whole thing was a drinking game?

Between picking eggshells out of your eyebrows and rounds at the beer garden, I’d suggest you go see the real Mitterteich. It was an old porcelain making town, so fitting that it has a Porcelain Museum housed in an old porcelain factory.

Of course old churches are wonderful too, and Mitterteich’s got the elegant Stadtpfarrkirche St. Jakob.

Get your digital or whatever you’ve got to take pictures ready — we’re going to the Rathaus (Town Hall) next, built in 1731. Followed by a stop at the Mariensäule (found right on the Marktplatz), the Sagenbrunnen and the Heimatbrunnen (on the Johannisplatz).

A Brunnen, BTW, is a fountain — in case you didn’t know.

Ugh, I almost left out telling you about the Friedhofskapelle Cemetery Chapel when I mentioned old churches — this one was built in 1780. Actually, the folks over at the Tourist Office do so much better of a job explaining all of Mitterteich than I do.

I’ll blame it on all the eggs I’ve been crackin’ on my head. Yes, that’s my story, and by-gosh I’m sticking to it. ;-)

The last place to go here in Mitterteich is to the library. Yes, I’m serious — it’s where some of artist Herbert Molwitz’s works are.

Sorry, forgot something again — the ski lifts for wintery fun (will you look at that! It’s the Czech Republic I can see from here — really, it’s only a few kilometers away), the ice skating rink for more winter activity, but the outdoor pool is a warmer weather affair. Guess you’ll have to go to the indoor pool if it’s too cold.

Excuse me, I have some Oierhiartn to attend to — wish me luck that my egg doesn’t break.

Cheers, I’m back in one of my most favorite places in the world — the Black Forest. To pinpoint it more exactly, Bonndorf im Schwarzwald, located just 18km from the border of Switzerland.

The area of Bonndorf has seen quite a number of famous residents, but no one specifically — just Stone Age Man, Celts, Romans, Teutons… It appears all sorts of folks have fallen in love with the region, huh?

What’s really funny is that these guys love the Black Forest, but Bonndorf loves a Japanese Garden. You’ll find it in the city park with its own Pagoda and Tea House. It’s a great place to meditate too, just in case you’re into that sort of thing.

Not me today, I’m going to see a castle. Ha, more specifically the Bonndorfer Schloss, built in 1592 and again 1723 (yup, that makes it a Baroque design). It is now used for a bunch of functions including the Kulturzentrum (Cultural Center) and a museum (the Kreismuseum) that’s all about Carnival “Fools” (and more on that in a minute).

Since you’re here (I mean, since I’m here), the Old Savings Bank is pretty close, so that’s the next stop. What’s so special about this bank (besides lots of money?), it does have the distinction of being the second oldest of its kind in the country.

Money isn’t the only thing that’s old around here. The Chapel in the City Garden could qualify as “old” too, used by early Protestants in the area. And the Catholic Church is old too, built in 1850.

The Boller Mühle (a mill) is definitely old, it’s been around since 1610. Today it’s a Mill Museum. Come when the Deutscher Mühlentag (German Mill Day) takes place and it becomes a party spot.

This ain’t no one horse town, either. Gear up for a whole lotta partying. I try to do these in order, but forgive me if I don’t.

So, what do we get? How about a huge Carnival celebration (remember those “fool” guys?), the Maypole party on May 1st, the Drachenflugtage (Kite Flying Days) at the end of May, a Castle Festival at the end of July, a Fall Festival in October, and a Wine Festival (also at the end of October) no less.

Following all this is an Advent Market in early December, and a whole bunch of Advent concerts and Christmas parties.

Wow, with all this going on you might not have time to explore the trails and paths around Bonndorf and the Southern Black Forest. Too bad, ’cause it’s one of my favorite places in the whole world — and I think it’ll be yours too. :-)

The Salzach River can give us a lesson that great things don’t necessarily come in big packages. And yes, while the Salzach is some 225 kilometers long, and all of it flows through Austria and along its border, only around 70 of those are found in Germany.

Where does the Salzach start? In the Kitzbühel Alps (it’s west of Salzburg, in case you’re wondering).

The German portion of the Salzach starts in Freilassing, a town of around 16,000 people, and closer to the Salzburg Airport than any other in Germany.

A quick jaunt over to the town museum is in order before it rains on you (sorry, it’s a tad bit rainy here in Freilassing). If that’s not your cup of tea, head to the town of Laufen.

I like Laufen’s medieval Altstadt (Old Town), and its Inn-Salzach style architecture. You certainly can’t miss the bright yellow Salzburg Gate or the Baroque Rathaus (Town Hall).

From the banks of the Salzach you can see the Pfarr- und Stiftskirche, but you’ll have to come inland to enjoy all the bike trails that criss-cross through the countryside. A ride across the Salzach Bridge is a brilliant way to see a different view of the river.

Whatever vantage point you’re using to see the Salzach, it was once a vital part of the salt trade in the Middle Ages, right up to as recently as the 1800s for that matter.

Religion was vital to life in the Middle Ages, as well. Nowhere is that more evident than in the town of Tittmoning and its 121 (!) villages.

That’s not even the amazing part. For all of Tittmoning’s villages, the entire town is a mere 72 square kilometers. You could always ask Pope Benedict XVI about this place, since he used to live here.

And I’m sure if you can get a papal visit he’ll tell you all about the Inn-Salzach architecture (oh look at that, the Salzach River has its own unique architecture too) around the Marktplatz, the St. Lawrence Collegiate Church (it’s Gothic in case you’re wondering), and the 12th century castle with its Chapel of St. Michael.

If you like Tittmoning, then you’re going to love Burghausen — where the Salzach runs along the eastern border of town. It’s got a beautiful Town Square, a Pilgrimage Church (St. Mary of the Assumption, called St. Maria Himmelfahrt in German), and a castle.

The castle’s really worth seeing, since it houses Burghausen’s City Museum and its own Castle Museum (and hosts a Castle Festival in July).

The town is also home to the Bavarian State Gallery, and an annual Jazz Week. Great, all we need now is some 30-year old whiskey to go with that.

We need something because our time along the Salzach ends at the St. Stephen Church and the prehistoric grave fields in Haiming.

I agree… that was a quick trip. But, don’t hesitate to continue your journey along the Inn River, because the Salzach flows right into it here in Haiming.

In fact, the Salzach totally enlarges the Inn. It’s worth mentioning because the Salzach is one of the Inn’s biggest tributaries. And not to be confused with Salzach’s own tributaries like the Lammer and the Saalach.

If all you’ve done is seen the smaller German portion of the Salzach you’ve come to realize that I’m right about great things coming in small packages. But, if you’ve gotten to see the entire river… I’m just plain jealous. ;-)

There are a few facts about the town of Baumholder in the Rhineland-Palatinate that I could spout off easy enough.

For instance, did you know their Weekly Market takes place every Saturday morning and that it starts promptly at 7am? Or that this small town of less than 7,000 residents was once part of Prussia?

But, did you know that Baumholder is home to the United States Army? OK, so maybe Elvis or some other famous hotshot wasn’t stationed here (Elvis was in Friedberg (Hesse) and Grafenwöhr) — yet I don’t really think that matters.

Baumholder is cheery enough; any place that holds a Umwelttag (Environment Day, end of March) is Aces to me. Then again, any place with as many festivals and markets as Baumholder offers is Aces. ;-)

What are some of those festivals and markets? I’m so glad you asked — give me a minute to make sure I don’t forget any. Deep breath…

OK, come February (or so) when there’s Carnival, followed by the Maypole Festivities on May 1st, I already mentioned the Environment Day — so let’s mention the Kirmes (a Church Festival) in September instead, ending with the obligatory Christmas Market in early December.

Ah-ha, I think I got them all.

What I didn’t mention was the cross-country skiing trails, the mountain biking paths, the canoeing, the Parrot Farm, and ooohhh — the swimming pond with its own sand beach that makes an awesome ice skating venue in winter. Plus, camping is big at the lake from April to October; and will only cost you a few Euro per night.

And I couldn’t forget about the Night Watchman tours that start at the Place du Warcq. These are great. Not only do you get to see places like Baumholder’s Altes Rathaus (Old Town Hall) built like four centuries ago (and doubles as a Local History Museum), but also to see its medieval fortification wall (called a Stadtmauer), and its 19th century Sts. Simon & Judas Thaddäus Church.

Whether you’re here because you’re stationed by the U.S. military, visiting loved ones, or just passing through — I think you’ll really like it. Even if Elvis or some other hotshot wasn’t here before you.

As if it wasn’t hard enough not to have been jealous of the eternally iconic Elvis Presley, when you factor his ties to the German town of Grafenwöhr — it just makes it worse.

We know that Elvis was a Good Ol’ Southern Boy from the Deep South in the United States, so what’s this got to do with this charming Bavarian town?

Um, in case you didn’t know, Elvis Presley was stationed here in Grafenwöhr during his stint in the United States Army.

Didn’t know that Elvis was in the Army? Didn’t know that the U.S. Army had a base here in Grafenwöhr? It’s OK, I’ll tell you all about it, and then some. ;-)

FYI, Grafenwöhr is home to a United States Cavalry Regiment, a Brigade Combat Team, and don’t do anything naughty ’cause Military Police are here too.

Grafenwöhr is a lot older than you might realize. Although military and combat training have only been going on since World War I. Besides that, Grafenwöhr has been (and still has) many farms — retaining its agricultural feel. Which are surrounded by the most picturesque forests and hills, by the way.

Jealous of Elvis that he got to spend some time here?

Within Elvis’ Grafenwöhr, you’ll see the old medieval Stadtmauer (from the 15th century), which is the same century that saw the building of the town’s Rathaus on the Marktplatz. 1462, to be exact.

A century later, Grafenwöhr saw the construction of the Cemetery Church of St. Ursula.

And in keeping with the whole military tradition, Grafenwöhr holds an annual German/American Volksfest on the first weekend of August. Besides barbeque foods of the German and American varieties, you’ll get to see huge tanks and anti-tank helicopters. It’s every little boy’s dream day.

Can’t make it to the party? Don’t worry, you can go to the Oberpfälzer Kultur- und Militärmuseum (Upper Palatinate Culture & Military Museum) instead. I know, it doesn’t beat a hot dog or cheeseburger, but enjoy this historical old building anyway. ;-)

Anyone wanting a quieter activity, then I’d say go to the Friedenskirche (Peace Church; white & tall, you can’t miss it), Church of the Assumption a.k.a. Maria Himmelfahrt (with its Lourdes Grotto), and the Waldnaabtal — which they even gave the badge of a Wundergarten, or Miracle Garden.

Or, you could just find a hiking trail, slap on a good Elvis song on the iPod (Love Me Tender or Suspicious Minds to name a couple).

Drats — I really am jealous of Elvis, he got to live here for a while — and I have to go. I only hope where I’m headed to next is just as wonderful…