It’s not all that shocking that the town of Tiefenbach is comprised of 78 villages and hamlets. What kinda got me was some of the names, like Oberjacking, Kirchberg vorm Wald, and Fatting.

Sounds silly, but there ain’t nothing silly about it. This place is great. Just don’t go confusing it with the country’s other Tiefenbachs. Yes, that was plural — there are several others throughout Germany. This one, however, is the largest one of ’em. Be proud. :-)

To make it more clear, this Tiefenbach is also known as Tiefenbach bei Passau; as it sits just north of Passau. So, now that you know where to find it — let’s get to it.

Throughout the many villages of this Tiefenbach you’ll find a bunch of little chapels, many of which date back to around the 19th century. And you’ve also got the Pestsäule und “Kaisa und Kini”. A long name for a lil’ stone that once marked a 17th century boundary and a plague epidemic during the Thirty Years’ War.

This conflict brings me to the Schloss Haselbach. Originally a medieval castle from around 1207 (no one’s too sure), it was destroyed by the Swedes in the 1630s and rebuilt in 1725. Even though you can’t see the inside, its exterior is a wonderful example of the architecture of the time. Plus, the Castle Brewery now belongs to the Löwenbrauerei.

Another architectural gem is the Pfarrkirche St. Johannes der Täufer (St. John the Baptist), a church in the village of Kirchberg vorm Wald that’s a blend of both Gothic and Baroque.

St. Margareta is older. Built in the 12th century, it too has Baroque stylings in there.

Lower Bavaria is best experienced outdoors, but first stop at the Local History Museum with its Stone Age artifacts.

Now it’s time to get out on one of the marked hiking trails through its hilly and forested landscape. Come see the Jackinger Linde, a huge tree so old no one’s quite sure exactly how old it is. Some say it’s upwards of 800 years old.

Debate it at one of Tiefenbach’s festivals, like the Pfingsfest (at Pentecost), the Summer Festivals (June and July), the Erntedankfest (Harvest Festival) in October, and the Maibaumfest (May 1st).

This is all in addition to the Autumn Culture Days, held from the middle of September to the middle of October.

Hell, with all this going on there isn’t any way I could confuse this Tiefenbach with any other — especially with all the funny names.

The love of the German automobile ends right here in the town of Wüstenrot. No, it’s not as if the town has anything against a Porsche or Audi — it’s just that it lies along the Idyllic Route.

In the most simplest way of explaining it, the route is best enjoyed walking or cycling. This would explain Wüstenrot’s guided hikes.

A wonderful way to see the countryside is atop the Aussichtsturm Steinknickle, a 30 meter high observation tower. It doesn’t end here, climb the 66 steps of the Himmelsleiter, or Stairway to Heaven, and look up to see the 45 meter high Sequoias at the Wellingtonien.

You can go from atop the world to below it when you go see the Silberstollen, which were the old silver mines.

Have a walk over to the Finsterroter See, a lake that’s great for both boating and swimming. Right nearby is a barefoot path, so go ahead and kick those shoes off.

After walking to see Wüstenrot’s Baroque St. Kilian Church (b. 1732), visiting its Glas- und Heimatmuseum (Glass and Local History Museum), and its 18th century Rathaus you’ll be ready to get out of your shoes.

And no one said you had to have your shoes on while over at one of Wüstenrot’s BBQ areas, either. Keep ’em on while you’re at the 15th/16th century Burg Maienfels though.

What can we see after that? The Greifvogelanlage, which is all about birds of prey. You’re welcome there anytime from March to November. And the Haus Haller Straße 3 (a.k.a. Georg-Kropp-Haus), a half-timbered building from 1750 that houses the Bausparmuseum.

What? Oh, right, I haven’t told you yet that Wüstenrot is actually famous for its Bausparkasse (home loan bank) that has the name of this town, hence it makes sense to have a museum about it. ;-)

As idyllic as Wüstenrot is, it’s even better during one of its festivals. Hopefully I don’t miss any — so here goes: there’s the Ochsenfest in July, the Waldkuchenfest (Forest Cake Festival), the Dorfplatzfest Oberheimbach, the Kirchplatzfest in June, the Summer Festival (also in June), and the obligatory Christmas Market.

Yeah, I did miss some — there’s another Village Festival in early August (Dorffest Finsterrot) and the Erntedankfest (Harvest Festival) in September. Guess I got sidetracked by the Swabian-Franconian Forest and the Mainhardt Forest in the background.

Forget the car, this really is a place best explored on foot — or at least on a bike.

Let’s just say for the sake of this conversation (webpage?) that you’ve got an extra day in Leipzig and you don’t know what to do with yourself. It’s not as if the city won’t have something for you, but suppose you want to see some village life? I’d be the first one to tell you to head over to Machern.

What? It’s not like it’s far, only about 20 kilometers so it won’t take you long to get there.

And if you’re here in September you might not even think you’re in Germany at all. Machern hosts an annual Highland Games; complete with bagpipes, hammer throwing contests, and rugged guys in skirts. I mean kilts. ;-)

For the rest of the time Machern doesn’t look like the Scottish Highlands, the town is dominated by its castles.

The smaller Schloss Machern is a graceful 16th century castle, now used for weddings and that sort of thing. And from the looks of it you’d never guess that Burg Püchau is over a thousand years old. Hmm, come 2024 and it will actually be 1100 years old.

I digress, Burg Püchau stole my heart (call me a romantic, but I am a sucker for a medieval castle). It’s sprawling lawns, ivy draped walls, and Gothic windows kind of did that to me.

You might prefer to have a nosh in its restaurant or walk its Zen Maze — I’ll be outside pretending to “lord” over the manor and its English Gardens.

One of the biggest things to see here is the Castle Park, full of sculptures and “temples” (one to Apollo’s granddaughter, Hygieia), and even the ruins of a medieval castle. Cool… another one. ;-)

You can even go sightseeing underground in Machern. The Stasi Bunkers Lübschützer Teiche are from the days of when the area was under Soviet control. The only drawback is its only open once a month.

What else can I tell you about Machern? Oh yes, the Pfauenhof Püchau that’s got all the peacocks.

They’re loud birds, so how about a game of golf if you want something a tad more… ah, quiet? There are 18 holes calling your name; and if you’re into the whole tennis thing, you can do that too.

Though I’m pretty sure some of you might rather try to find those guys in kilts. ;-)

As a huge castle lover, I hit the motherlode of all castle towns: Zierenberg in northern Hesse.

However, I didn’t say they were all intact. Devil’s in the details, Friends. ;-)

Awww, check these babies out. I’m starting off at the Burgstall Blumenstein, a castle built in the 13th century but ceased to exist after 1430. Hmm, gone a helluva lot longer than it stood.

Same goes for the Burgruine Malsburg. At least this early 12th century number still has some of its walls and tower standing.

You gotta go through some dense woods to see the Burgruine Falkenberg, but its 13th century walls and old grave are worth it.

Burgruine Schartenberg is the most interesting. If you come to this 11th century castle ruin in the summer you won’t see the mountain gorge through all the trees — so use it as an excuse to come here in the winter too.

The 11th century also gave Zierenberg the Kloster Hasungen. This monastery lasted until the Protestant Reformation — but today there’s a museum to tell you all about the medieval Benedictine monastery.

One last castle, the Schloss Escheberg, this too was a medieval castle, but changed over to a Rococo design with its own English Garden. There’s a park and a golf course if you’re so interested.

No, make the Schloss Laar the last castle — and the village has an Old Mill that was built in 1599.

Ugh, no… there’s another one. Better be in some short of shape to get to the Burgruine Großer Gudenberg, since you gotta go up a steep trail to get to it. In case you can’t, here’s the short version of its history: it was built in 1209 and destroyed less than 70 years later.

What? Did the engineers fail Castle Building 101?

And damn, every time I turn around there’s another castle somewhere. How about we move on to something else — otherwise I’ll make myself nuts. ;-)

Zierenberg lies within the Nature Park Habichtswald, a quiet place to reflect on one of the hiking trails.

What else can I tell you? How about its said that Zierenberg has the oldest Gothic Framework Town Hall in Hesse? Don’t know how true that is, but it was built in 1450.

I’m thinkin’ that’s something to discuss during Zierenberg’s Wine Festival that’s held every September, or the Kirmes (Church Festival) in both May and July.

Ahh, dag-gonnit — I forgot to tell you that Zierenberg has also the Schreckenbergturm (in the Habichtswald), an observation tower that literally translates to something like “Scary Mountain Tower.”

At least the castles are not that scary… ;-)

Hello, Zwingenberg (Bergstraße), you medieval wonder — you are the oldest town on the Hessian Bergstrasse. And what a treat you are.

Most people immediately notice the Aul, which was part of the town’s original wall (measuring almost 2 meters thick); built in the 14th century and standing two stories high.

Also from the Middle Ages is Zwingenberg’s Bergkirche, a church built in 1258 that’s now of the Evangelical denomination. And the remains of a mid-13th century moated castle.

And you’re a cheeky devil, Zwingenberg. You’ve got not only the medieval sites, but more “modern” ones as well. Yeah, that’s right I say modern in the sense of Das Schlösschen that was built in 1520 and is now the Town Hall, and the old Hotel zum Löwen that was built in 1595.

The latter of which is said to be the oldest building in Zwingenberg built outside the original walls.

You see, Zwingenberg is a layer-cake of history, for which we can see other 16th century buildings in the County Court that was once some aristocrat’s hunting lodge; 18th century architecture can be seen at the Old Pharmacy, and the 19th/20th centuries gives us the former synagogue.

I got so excited I almost forgot to tell you about all the half-timbered houses all over the place.

A Night Watchman tour is most definitely a great way to see it all. Yet no one can live by this alone, so thankfully we’ve got some cultural events to attend too.

The Wine Festival takes place every September, while the Christmas Market is held in December. May is a busy month with the Farmers & Crafts Market, the Spring Festival, Vineyard Tours, and Wine Market going on.

OK, so I mentioned them a little out of order — blame the wine. ;-)

As pretty a picture as you’ll find the town of Zwingenberg, the countryside is equally wonderful. Get a map, some good shoes, and take off into the Geopark Bergstraße-Odenwald. Take a guided tour to get the most out of your experience in this UNESCO region.

Last, but certainly not least, is the Melibokus — a mountaintop area with an observation tower and the ruins of the medieval Alsbach Castle.

This is hard work, so I’m gonna settle down for a bite of Zwingenberg’s strawberries and one of its Rieslings. Here’s a toast to the oldest town on the Hessian Bergstrasse, our gracious Zwingenberg!

Experts have been arguing for ages about the total length of the Lech River. Some say it’s 264 km (164 mi), others say its 248 km. Bavarian Swabian experts measured it at 256 km.

I don’t put too much stock in Bavarian Swabian “experts.” If they’re arguing about a handful of kilometers, they’ve gotten too much beer (oops!).

Not all of the Lech River runs through the most visited German state in the country. It starts in the Vorarlberg in Austria, not coming to Germany until the water crashes down the 39-meter waterfall known as the Lechfall.

OK, now the river belongs to Germany. And what a trek it is. The Lech River flows from the Lechfall into the Forggensee, passing by the classy town of Füssen in between.

Sure, you’ve heard Füssen — it’s where you’ve got stunning views of the Alps, but this is where the Lech meets the Via Claudia Augusta and the handy work of Ludwig II at Neuschwanstein Castle.

You can see where my pal Ludwig spent his early days over at Hohenschwangau Castle, too.

From here the Lech travels to the Romantic Road town of Schongau. To heck with romantic… this is a money town. Schongau was the site of a 16th century Mint.

OK, history lovers will probably appreciate Schongau’s Altstadt (Old Town) and the frescoes at the town’s Rococo Church more. ;-)

The Romantic Road takes us down the Lech River to the town of Landsberg am Lech. This town is both famous and infamous, and lies along the border between what is called Altbayern (Old Bavaria) and Schwaben (Swabia).

Why do I say Landsberg is infamous? Well, it had an infamous resident, Adolf Hitler, who spent some time in the Landsberg Prison during the early 1920s.

You don’t want see a correctional facility — so let’s head to see the historic Altstadt, the Altes Rathaus, the St. John Church, and to chill out on the gravel beach of the Lech.

Shopping is always good, and you can do it twice a week at the Weekly Market on Wednesdays and Saturdays.

The Lech meets the Via Claudia once again as the river flows into the city of Augsburg. This is also where the Lech meets the Wertach, one of its major tributaries.

I really like how Augsburg is a big city (and one of the oldest in Germany), but one-third of it still remains forested. All the better to enjoy the orchids, don’t ya think?

It is truly amazing how Germany has managed to harness the power of the Lech, with 24 dams and some 30 power plants — yet still manages to have nature conservation areas like they have around Augsburg.

Don’t let the brown water fool you — it’s because of the plankton and the minerals in the water. Otherwise, who’d want to raft, canoe, or fish along the way?

I wouldn’t. ;-)

The last nature park you’ll find along the Lech is the Altmühltal around Marxheim, where it meets the mighty Danube on its way to the Black Sea.

Yeah, experts can argue all they want about the length of this magnificent river. I so totally get Bavarian Swabia — and its amazing towns — that a few kilometers won’t make a difference to you and me.

Want to boat your way down the Leine River? I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but you can’t — at least for the most part. You can boat for the last 94km.

Don’t let something as crazy as not being able to boat the entire 281 kilometers (175 miles) stop you from making your way from its source in Leinefelde-Worbis and to its end in Schwarmstedt, just north of Hanover. There are plenty of biking trails.

The picturesque Ringquelle, the source of the Leine in Leinefelde, brought fame to the town. And while it’s really famous for its bear sanctuary, I like the Japanese Garden and the Burg Scharfenstein, too.

For forty kilometers the Leine now winds its way through northern Thuringia, and one of its last stops before leaving the state is classy Heilbad Heiligenstadt.

What’s this city got worth seeing? Uh, how about its Literary Museum, its Jewish cemetery, the St. Mary Church, and the altar of the St. Giles Church.

Oh yeah, and its Mainz Castle. It’s too nice here to leave — but I must. Göttingen in Lower Saxony is waiting…

Göttingen is not only a university town, it’s where you’ll find a number of scientific institutions. But it’s the nature reserves, the Squire Tavern (15th century), the Goethe Institute, and its churches that keep bringing people here year after year.

A bird sanctuary awaits in Northeim, as one of the Leine’s tributaries, the Rhume River, makes its way through the center of town. You can criss-cross the river all you want to see Northeim’s Heimatmuseum (Local History Museum), its Altstadt (Old Town), the Protestant St. Sixti Church, and its Wieterturm that’s an observation tower.

Because it’s a true water town, Northeim hosts a whole bunch of sailing regattas, and even has its own port.

The curving Leine River meets the German Framework Road in Einbeck. Oh yeah, lots and lots of half-timbered houses. Two of the most beautiful buildings are the Old and New Town Halls — but make sure you see the St. James Church, the St. Alexandri Church, and the City Museum and Stadtmauer before you skip town.

We’re getting closer to Hanover, because the next town of Alfeld (Leine) is part of the Hanover Metropolitan Region. It was also one of the smallest towns that belonged to the famous Hanseatic League.

An interesting town, Alfeld. It’s enough to put you to sleep — not only because of its mention in a Brothers Grimm fairytale, but also because it’s home to the Snoring Museum.

I do not make this stuff up. ;-)

Hold on for a second… So far along the Leine River we’ve found a university, a castle, a scenic route, countless churches, and now we’re ready to meet up with a real German UNESCO World Heritage Site — which you’ll see when you go to the St. Michael Church in Hildesheim.

There are other sites, in case you’re curious — including a Cathedral Museum with a real 9th century cathedral, and plenty of half-timbered houses. Drop that — I’m psyched about Hildesheim’s annual Jazz Festival and its Christmas Market.

Next up along the Leine is the capital city of Lower Saxony, Hanover. This town (called Hannover in German) has sparked a number of other towns around the world with the same name — but none are like this here in Germany.

Hanover is home to the Lower Saxony State Museum, and a slew of art, theater, music, and sport events. But, if you want to see the top 36 sites of this epic city, follow the 4.2km long Roter Faden (Red Line) that leads you along all of them.

One site is the Aegidienkirche ruins, which was destroyed during World War II, and kept that way as a memorial.

Our trip along the Leine ends in the town of Schwarmstedt, smackdab in the middle of the Aller-Leine Valley — and along the edge of the Lüneburg Heath.

You could most likely get lost (in a time sense, not a literal one) along the 100km of biking trails that ride through the bogs and the banks of the Leine River as it empties into the Aller.

Biking isn’t all that you can do, though, as sport fishing is big in Schwarmstedt, and so is swimming, canoeing, and kayaking.

Forget the fact that you can’t boat your way along the entire Leine River. Look at what you’d have missed otherwise. ;-)

My first thought of Diekholzen in Lower Saxony was that there wasn’t too much to see. How could it possibly compare to neighboring Hildesheim, a town with its own UNESCO site.

Sometimes first impressions can last forever. Other times you realize that you made a mistake. And I can wholeheartedly admit that I was wrong about Diekholzen — there is stuff to see and do.

What’s worse is, I’m brought right back to the eternal question: what came first, the chicken or the egg? No, that’s not it — the question is: the natural side of Diekholzen, or the man-made parts of town?

Let’s go with… the nature part of Diekholzen. The town lies within the Nature Reserve Schwarze Heide, an area with an extensive network of hiking trails. Take your time learning about the local flora and fauna, you couldn’t possibly be in that much of a rush.

Blah, blah, blah, flowers, blah, blah bird watching. ;-)

I’m just joking — the natural landscape is beautiful; and one of the best things about Lower Saxony is that much of it can be seen on a bike. So, even if you don’t feel like walking, you can still enjoy a lot of Diekholzen’s countryside and the Hildesheim Forest (and even to the nearby old Jewish cemetery).

Within town are a number of fantastically old buildings. OK, so maybe the Evangelical Church of the Resurrection didn’t come along until the mid-20th century, but its mosaic altar is still an interesting piece to see.

For Diekholzen’s older churches, the St. James Church is one of the best — a Baroque gem built in 1656. In the village of Barienrode the St. Nicholas Church is also of a Baroque design, built in 1734.

I really like the design of the Gatehouse Diekholzen, a yellow and half-timbered building. I would’ve also liked the Burg Steuerwald more if I could’ve seen the inside of this 14th century castle. The moat is gone, but the Magdalene Chapel is still around — now a venue for weddings and musical concerts.

Yeah, I couldn’t have been more wrong about Diekholzen — and for once I was really glad not to be right. ;-)

Wasn’t it a line in the movie Forest Gump that says, “Life’s like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get”? Life may be like that. Life might be messy too. But, I do know what you’re going to get when you arrive in Wallersdorf.

An outrageously good time.

Wallersdorf is a fun town in Lower Bavaria of lots (and lots) of festivals and markets throughout the year. In early March the town has its Starkbierfest. And at the end of the month is the Josefimarkt, giving you the chance to shop and eat yourself silly.

Come sometime in May (depends on the holiday of Pentecost) when the Pfingstmarkt is another one of those shopping, eating, and drinking opportunities. Not too much later everyone gets together again for the Dorffest. Ahh, a village festival that brings people from all over the area to celebrate. Well, that holds also true for the week-long Volksfest in June. In July the Fisherman’s Festival is another one of those eating and drinking celebrations.

September is a busy month for those in and around Wallersdorf. In the middle of the month the Autumn Fair takes place, as does the annual Wine Festival. October is busy with the Kirchweihmarkt; and it all ends with the Christmas celebrations.

Wallersdorf takes great pride in finding some of the biggest trees to decorate for the holiday. Come take a look and decide for yourself.

The parties of Wallersdorf aren’t the only things you’ll find. There are a number of old churches throughout its 17 villages. One of its most famous is its Pfarrkirche St. Alban, a white building contrasted by its dark onion dome.

It’s the same kind of architecture that awaits you at the Pfarrkirche St. Rupert. And a smaller onion dome is found at the St. Sebastian Chapel.

Sorry, no onions at the St. Johannis Church, the St. Anthony Chapel, Holy Cross Pfarrkirche See, the Cemetery Chapel Wallersdorf, or the church of St. Laurentius — but I’d still go if I were you.

You should’ve known that there would be this many churches and chapels — I said there were 17 villages, right?

You couldn’t possibly do them all in one day, so good thing there are a couple of guest houses in town — one being really convenient since its right on the Marktplatz.

Makes that really convenient for all the partying action that’s made Wallersdorf famous. Didn’t I tell you, you’d know what you’re gonna get?

Wanna know where something is? Need directions? Today we just say, google it. Wasn’t so simple back before there was an internet — and not everyone had access to satellite maps like NASA. Thankfully there were men like August Heinrich Petermann, a 19th century cartographer born in the town of Bleicherode.

A monument to him stands here in town — a local boy done good. Who needs a Google Map when you had a map maker living right here? ;-)

That’s not all you’ll find in Bleicherode, found along the banks of the Wipper River. And believe it or not, it’s a real Fahrradfreundliche Stadt — a Biker Friendly Town. Motorcyclists from all over come to feel the wind in their hair and bugs in their teeth (just kidding) along winding Thuringian lanes.

While you’re out biking through Bleicherode you’ll see the local Stadtkirche (City Church), a grey stone building with a pointed roof. Make sure you also ride along the Hauptstraße, where the obligatory Heimatmuseum (Local History Museum) is found.

Where else can your bike ride take you? To the Weekly Market, held every Thursday. And to the memorial for the town’s former 18th/19th century synagogue — located at the Alte Kanzlei.

There is a Jewish cemetery too, but it isn’t accessible to the general public.

Our bike ride can also take us to the Rosenkirche (Rose Church), a medieval pilgrimage site that grew from a shrine to the image of Mary, to a chapel; then to the church you see today.

I think the Village Church in Obergebra is worth visiting too — as is the town’s Rathaus (Town Hall), a wonderful building that’s been the center of town life since 1540.

Notice anything else special while you’re whipping around? How about all the half-timbered buildings that Bleicherode has? This is why it has earned a spot on the famous German Framework Road.

All the motoring around can make the muscles a tad sore. So come to the local outdoor pool, with its sprawling lawns, kids area, and diving board for the adventurous.

A hike would be a good idea too. It’s a bit mountainous here in the Bleicheröder Bergen, an area that belongs to the Ohmgebirge.

How many of you out there only heard: wear the most comfortable shoes you can find? At least if you get lost you can always consult one of Herr Petermann’s maps. ;-)