Some people say if the music’s too loud, you’re too old. Others believe that you’re too old once you’ve decided to stop learning. I am not too old — not because the music’s a decibel (or two) too high, but because I’m willing to learn.

So what did I learn from the town of Ostrach? That it lies right in the middle of the surrounding Schwäbische Dichterstrasse. Yeah, another scenic route that Germany has to offer.

The Schwäbische Dichterstrasse, BTW, is a poet/author route that takes you along to the towns of Goethe, Hesse, and many other famous German writers.

Even better that Ostrach is right along the classy Hohenzollern Route and the Upper Swabian Baroque Route. Great — three routes for the price of one!

Means nothing if you don’t know what there is to see. For the Baroque part of Ostrach, you’ll need to see the Church of St. Pankratius. For the medieval, the St. Michael Chapel is grand example of Romanesque architecture from the 12th century, and the Pfarrkirche St. Luzia came along a century later.

The Middle Ages not only gave us some spectacular churches, but castles as well. Ostrach had them — and you can see where they would have stood when you visit the Burgstelle Freudenberg, and Burg bei Burgweiler. While nothing remains of the latter’s 11th century building, it is the venue for Ostrach’s Burgfest every year.

Do yourself a favor, get a bicycle and take one of the seven cycling routes through the area. The history of the routes will bring you from the dark medieval days right up to the present.

Anyone looking for museums? You’ve got that too. The obligatory Heimatmuseum (Local History Museum) is a good start — perfect to learn the customs and traditions of the area (like Ostrach’s huge Swabian/Alemannic Carnival), and the Volkskundemuseum (Ethnography Museum) that’s all about local folklore,

Because this is Upper Swabia, you’ll love being outdoors too. Ostrach lies along the Laubenbachmühle Nature Reserve, and in the village of Burgweiler (one of Ostrach’s twelve) there is the Grenzsteinmuseum — part outdoor museum/part walking path. Wear comfy shoes… this baby is 13km long.

Hey, at least Ostrach has made learning fun. And you’re never too old for some of that. ;-)

Glandorf might not be easy to locate, but once you’re in the area you’ll be glad you found it.

Glandorf with its six villages lies in Lower Saxony, not too far from the town of Osnabrück and bordering North Rhine-Westphalia as well as the Teutoburg Forest. Then there are a handful of spa towns nearby.

That’s some fantastic real estate, isn’t it? So it’s not surprising that you’ll find some wonderful sightseeing and wellness around the area.

It wasn’t always like this. In 1636 the entire town was charred and gutted by the Swedes during the dreaded Thirty Years’ War. Now almost four hundred years later, Glandorf is a town along the 170km Friedensroute (Peace Route) that tells the story of the Peace of Westphalia — the treaty that ended the three decade conflict.

That’s not the only scenic route that brings you to Glandorf. The Grenzgängerroute comes through — this one being 150km of cafes and country houses. If you’re looking for a gentler, calming route to follow, this one’s the one to take.

You might be here for a while before you’ve run off on one of those scenic routes. Start at the Glandorf Windmill, a 19th century Gallery Dutch that was in use for almost a hundred years.

Also from the 19th century is the church of St. Marien in Schwege, whose huge stone tower dominates the structure. The St. Johannis Church is much older, as it was built in the 13th century.

The other mill in Glandorf is the Merschmühle, that’s been working for the town for more than 750 years — albeit today it’s much more eco-friendly than back in the Middle Ages.

Speaking of eco-friendly, Glandorf has this huge solar park that harnesses solar energy — making Glandorf really good for our environment.

The sun is also good for growing all of Glandorf’s crops, including asparagus and strawberries. Delish!

Once sufficiently fed it’s time to hit up Hof Högemann, a medieval site that was once had a moat; was used as a prison; and is now the venue for Glandorf’s Local History Museum.

As with its scenic routes, Glandorf isn’t a one-pony town. The other museum here is the Museum of Agricultural Engineering.

I think all that we have left to see is the old Cistern at Thieplatz, and the stones called David and Goliath. The giant Goliath stone weighs a whopping 63 tons, while David is a mere 4 to 5 tons. Either way, they were both put here sometime during the last Ice Age.

A bike ride out to see David and Goliath would really be ideal. There’s an extensive network of bike trails that’ll take you all over the area — and beyond if you’re so interested.

I’m not, I think I’ll stay here for a while and eat up some of those strawberries. ;-)

This far north up in Germany it’s not uncommon to hear a town’s name in High German (in this case the town of Gettorf), Low German (Cheddörp), and even Danish (Gettorp). Whatever it is that you’re speaking, you’ll manage to have a good time.

Start at the Alexanderplatz where you can hang out with the Devil, whose tale is told (in Low German no less) of the Düvelstein — a 180-ton boulder from the last Ice Age; and the largest of its kind in all of Schleswig-Holstein.

Legend says that the Devil tried to hit Gettorf’s St. Jürgen’s Church, and missed. Impressive either way — considering it was supposed to have been thrown from a distance of over 5km. ;-)

St. Jürgen’s Church, BTW, is more than just a religious site, it’s historical too. The medieval (13th century) church’s exceptionally steep, 64-meter tower was used as a lookout during the 19th century German-Danish War.

On a totally different topic, Gettorf is famous for its Tierpark Gettorf. In English that’s a zoo. Either way, it’s known for its monkeys (like the Emperor Tamarin and the Diana Monkey) and its birds (Hyacinth Macaw and Bali Starling).

In addition to just the more exotic animals, the Tierpark has a petting zoo and works with animals on the endangered species list, and even has a couple of nature trails for you to walk around.

Speaking of nature areas, Gettorf is located within the Danish Wahld — a hilly area with prehistoric graves and modern farms just a stone’s throw from the nearby Baltic Sea. I guess that makes you a winner for any hiking or biking trail you pick, doesn’t it? ;-)

If you’ve chosen a path that leads you right to the Gettorfer Mühle, then you’ve certainly picked a good one. This Grand Dame is a 19th century Gallery Dutch brick windmill that’s now a romantic wedding venue and the local library.

Located nearby is the town’s Heimatmuseum (Local History Museum), which is also close the local Rathaus (Town Hall). How convenient. Actually just about all of Gettorf is convenient, it isn’t even 9.5 square kilometers.

Still big enough for the Devil to miss it, so long as you don’t…

You know what’s great about so many of Germany’s little towns? You never know who you might meet. Take Geiselhöring in Lower Bavaria, for instance, home to famous German composer Hans-Jürgen Buchner.

Hey, if you could live anywhere, why not make it Geiselhöring? Anyway, Herr Buchner bought a centuries old inn, turning it into a ceramics studio (Keramikkunst).

This got me to thinking. What other old buildings could be found in Geiselhöring? And, could I live here?

Hmm, the answer to question #2 is YES. And not just because of its amazing architecture. Every seven years (2005, 2012, …) Geiselhöring holds its Schäfflertanz. While anyone can attend this Carnival winter event, you have to be: (deep breath) unmarried, beardless, at least 18, and you better be in shape.

At least you don’t have to wait that long to experience the Eva-Plenningerin, an event that takes place every four years (2008, 2012, etc.). This outdoor theater performance at the Kloster Linskirche tells the tale of plague during the Thirty Years’ War.

While I’m waiting for the next performance, I’ll have to keep myself busy with a visit the Baroque Town Hall. Also the Baroque church of Sts. Peter & Eramus. Its marble altar is famous throughout the region.

This sure ain’t no one-church town; with 49 villages how could it? The St. James Church was a medieval Romanesque one until it underwent renovations to a Gothic style. St. Martin’s in Pönning is a Rococo style church, and the church over in Haindling was once a pilgrimage church.

Of course, I’d never leave before at least stopping by the Stadtkapelle Geiselhöring.

You know, now that I think about it — I should go down to the local pub and get me a guided tour in period costume. One tour gives you the juicy gossip on the former goings on during the last century; the other on the local breweries and watering holes.

My last stop? The Maritime Museum. Then right on back to that pub. Yeah, I think I could live here… don’t you?

In the town of Altmannstein the first language you might hear might not be German, but Latin. What might you hear in Latin? Fagus sylvatica. Means nothing to you? Means plenty around here. It’s the official name of a European Beech.

Still nothing?

Better put, Altmannstein is where you’ll find the Bavaria-Buche, a beech tree in the village of Pondorf that’s thought to be almost 800 years old. What’s really remarkable is beech trees aren’t known to live more than 300 years or so…

There is also the Große Eiche, a 29-meter high Oak tree in the hamlet of Ottersdorf. Take a good look at the trunk… that’s a “scar” caused by lightning.

What’s really great is that these two trees aren’t the only ones. Altmannstein lies within the Altmühltal Nature Park, so hike away and find your own tree to carry on about.

Impressed yet? I am.

I’m also impressed by Altmannstein’s two castles. Schloss Sandersdorf is now a Baroque beauty of a castle, although it was originally from the Middle Ages.

Burg Altmannstein is also from the medieval period (around 1120). Difference is, good ol’ Altmannstein Castle lies in ruins; having been sacked in the late 15th century. Don’t feel bad for it… it’s so romantic looking up there on its hill.

The castle’s park is also a romantic place, so wander around — and you’ll see what I mean.

Another one of Altmannstein’s impressive buildings is the Pfarrkirche Hl. Kreuz, or Parish Church of the Holy Cross. This is a wonderful example of Rococo architecture (all frilly, ornate, decorative — with its choir designed by German sculptor Ignaz Günther); however, it too is older than it looks.

Care to see more of Ignaz Günther’s work? Splendid, there’s a museum of it located in town.

You’ll also find lots of other little surprises throughout Altmannstein’s fourteen districts and beyond, including hiking trails throughout the Franconian Jura.

I guess it all leads back into the natural part of Altmannstein; and that transcends any language.

Today I don’t feel like being my typical self. Perhaps this is why I’m going to do things a little differently in the Hessian town of Reichelsheim (Wetterau). I’m going to enjoy the best of each and every village — not just as a whole.

First a bit about the Wetterau. It has seen the likes of Celts, Romans, and the dark days of the Middle Ages, making this Rhine-Main-Lowlands region a historical layer-cake.

Now it’s time to slowly go through each of Reichelsheim’s six villages. Let’s do ’em alphabetical — all in the name of fairness since they’re all fantastic in their own right.

In Beienheim let’s start with a stroll along Berliner Straße, then on Zur Kirche 4 to see the village’s Evangelical Church. For a bit of Germany’s Jewish history you’ll want to see the Jüdische Friedhof (Jewish cemetery) on Wüstengasse.

While Beienheim is the furthest west you can go, Blofeld is the totally opposite direction — the easternmost hamlet. Besides having a forest to get lost in (not literally but metaphorically speaking), you’ll want to walk along the popular Niddaer Straße; stopping on Kirchstraße to see the village’s Evangelical Church.

It’s to the south now to Dorn-Assenheim, a small hamlet of not even five square kilometers. The one spot everyone seems to visit is its St. Mary Magdalene Church.

If you think Dorn-Assenheim was small, wait ’til you get a gander at Heuchelheim, not even a kilometer-and-a-half square. Yeah… that’s tiny, right? So is its Evangelical Church, a tiny chapel looking building that somehow manages to just dominate its little area.

Wonderful things do come in small packages. ;-)

Reichelsheim proper is where we find the town’s Rathaus or Town Hall (Bingenheimer Straße 1), a tidy building with rounded doorways and flower-boxed windows. Right outside is the 19th century Franco-German War Memorial, and down the street is the local church.

Weckesheim is about the same size in area and population as Beienheim — a village of around a thousand people, not even 4.5 sqkm. Care to see its Evangelical Church? You’ll find it on Sommerbachstraße 5, and a small fountain at Sommerbachstraße 3.

What you’ll also be able to see here in Weckesheim is a mining museum. Appropriate since the region was very big on lignite mining.

See all the interesting things you can find out about a place when you meet them individually? Glad I did. ;-)

In order to understand the “Ökodorf” (Eco Village) of Rheurdt, you should understand its geography. The town is closer to the border of the Netherlands than it is to the city of Cleves, for which is in the same district.

OK, for those of you thinking “who cares where it is… just tell me what there is to see & do,” I’ll get on with it. ;-)

Just like most towns in Germany there is a castle, this one being Schloss Leyenburg. Its current Rococo architecture belies its medieval origins from the 14th century; and it was once a summer hunting lodge for the von Leyen family — moguls of Germany’s silk industry.

As beautiful as its artwork by Dürer and Raphael are, you don’t really want to spend too much time indoors around here.

Trust me, when you’ve got a place like the Naturschutzgebiet Staatsforst Rheurdt/Littard (translated to the Nature Reserve and State Forest Rheurdt/Littard; don’t we just love long names?) you most certainly won’t ever want to come indoors.

The majority of the trees in the forest are known as deciduous, which means they’re the ones that change from the bright greens of spring and summer to the bright reds, orange hues, and vibrant yellows in the autumn.

Bah — New England, USA thinks they’ve got the monopoly on Fall Foliage. No way, this is autumn the good ol’ German way.

One of the best places to walk or hike is the Oermter Berg. For the longest time the mountain was decorated with vineyards that belonged to the Kloster Kamp, or Kamp Abbey, in nearby Kamp-Lintfort.

OK, so maybe they don’t make wine anymore — but you’re always welcome to Vesper services at the Abbey Church on Sundays at 5pm.

Any other time, the monastery has a museum (with all sorts of historical artifacts from the monastery’s 900-year history), a stunning Rococo Hall (often used for concerts and other events), and is the venue for art events during the summer. I love its sprawling terraced Baroque gardens the most. But, that’s just me — you can like any part you want. ;-)

Rheurdt has a castle. It has a medieval monastery. What else more could it have? Oh, how about a 19th century windmill (called Turmwindmühle) and a Local History Museum (known as Heimatmuseum)?

When you’re ready to go back outside, find one of Rheurdt’s Grillplätze — or BBQ grilling areas for a wonderful day of picnicking fun. Just remember to save a bite for me. ;-)

I think my favorite words in German are: Niederbayerisches Bäderdreieck. Roughly translated to Lower Bavarian Spa Triangle.

Yeah, spa services — that’s all I needed to hear. Doesn’t matter that I’m here in Bad Füssing; the shining jewel in the crown of this spa town Triple Crown in Lower Bavaria.

Call it what you want in German, English, or Chinese — doesn’t change the fact that Bad Füssing is the most popular of the three spa towns; with Bad Griesbach and Bad Birnbach being the other two.

Sounds like your kinda place too? Good, so I’ll tell you where to find this heavenly Eden: just south of Pocking and Passau along the Inn River right next to Austria.

Yada, yada, yada. Just point the way to the massages, saunas, and the healing 56°C (133°F) waters from a thousand meters depth that take away the aches and pains of being on the ugly side of 40. ;-)

All right. All right. I suppose I can’t spend all my time at Therme 1 (see its webcam!) or the largest of all Bad Füssing’s spas, the Johannesbad. Nope, I still got the Europa Therme and the Saunahof to do, too.

And anyone who tells you that you can’t live by the spa alone is outright lying. Yet to be fair to them, I’ll explore more than the Salt Room — so off to the Casino I go…

Of course, I wouldn’t dream of not seeing a church or two. The Pfarrkirche Heilig Geist (Church of the Holy Spirit) is a good start, as is the Wallfahrtskirche Maria Himmelfahrt St. Leonhard, a pilgrimage church in the village of Aigen.

To hear more about the history of the St. Leonhard Pilgrims, please visit the Leonhardi-Museum. Another museum is the Bernsteinmuseum, or Amber Museum.

The ultimate best place to go in Bad Füssing (that isn’t a massage room, hello!) is the Bärenpark, or Bear Park. This awesome sanctuary for these animals will have you laughing at their antics, as well as opening your heart to these often misunderstood creatures in a “natural habitat” setting.

Then again, if you’d rather golf, Nordic Walk, or yoga, go on ahead. Meanwhile, I’m hopping aboard the Lustiger Lukas, a sightseeing train that gives a “tour” in a cute fun way.

I might have started off saying Niederbayerischen Bäderdreieck were my favorite words in German — but I’m changing them to Bad Füssing.

Being a “city slicker” and all, there are virtues to living and visiting big cities. But, there’s also something to be said for small towns. Gorgeous places like Birkenfeld (Nahe) in Rhineland-Palatinate.

OK, so maybe towns like this, a place with just over 6,000 people, doesn’t have a gazillion museums or hundreds of nightclubs. What Birkenfeld does have is a castle ruin. The Burgruine Birkenfeld, to be exact.

When that Frenchman Napoleon came calling the medieval/Renaissance castle had already been kinda destroyed — but that didn’t stop the French from claiming it for its own.

Birkenfeld has a castle too (not the same thing as a Burg, but close). This is a beautiful pink 19th century building that’s not someone’s house anymore, but a culture center and wedding venue.

Over by the Schloss at Schneewiesenstraße 22 is an old Barracks building, from when the area belonged to Prussia. Its pale-yellow appearance and ornate doorway make it look more like a library or someone’s manor house than some military building. Now it’s an administration building.

What is it with yellow around here? The Alte Stadthaus, or Old Town House, is also yellow — and was once a local 19th century doctor’s home. Now this is where Birkenfeld’s Mayor gets to come to work everyday.

Whewww, I think I’ll run for office if I can work in such fabulous surroundings everyday. Nevermind, I get to experience all of Germany by doing this instead. Isn’t that better? :-)

Anyway, if I was stuck in the office I wouldn’t get to cycle my way around the 180 km of Birkenfeld’s bike trails. Who am I kidding, I’m not biking that far — but it looks good in print. ;-)

I will, however, ride over to the Kirchplatz to see the Evangelical Church; built in the 1750s. And I’ll ride over to the former Marktplatz to see the Schellenmann, where the sculpture vibrates.

One last stop: the Heimatmuseum (Local History Museum, Friedrich-August-Straße 17). Birkenfeld (Nahe) has seen the likes of Celts, Romans, Franks, and a whole bunch of other folks in history — so it’s no wonder they’ve got some 2,500 years of the area’s history all under one roof.

I don’t know how they did it, though it’s definitely worth seeing. So are some more of those bicycle trails — so I better get a move on. ;-)

Drats… foiled again. Here I am all excited to be coming to the Swabian town of Durach, only to find there isn’t much to see. However, you couldn’t find a more colorful village if you tried.

At least it’s colorful during the Spring and Summer when all the plants and flowers are in full bloom.

Durach is found just south of Kempten, in the wonderful Allgäu region. Simply put, the German Alps oversee everything that goes on here. It certainly explains why flights around the area are so popular. Just head to the Kempten-Durach Airfield to hop on one.

And if you’re looking to go exploring around in the Allgäu area, you couldn’t ask for a better central location. While there isn’t all that much sightseeing, you might find yourself staying for a while. So find yourself a Holiday Home to let for a few days or weeks, and get motivated.

Motivated to do what?

Thanks for asking. How ’bout some castles? Or, should I say what used to be castles? Anyway, one to see would be the Burg Baltenstein in nearby Betzigau. This one was partially built from a boulder around the year 1200, only to be deserted some time in the 1500s.

The same kind of thing happened at the Sulzberg Ruins (in nearby Sulzberg), built in 1170 and gone because of fighting during the Thirty Years’ War. And also to the Burg Wolkenberg (in Wildpoldsried), a 12th/13th century ruin that once belonged to the famous Hohenstaufen family.

It’s not our last castle visit in or near Durach. The last one is the Burgruine Schöneberg in Betzigau. This is the oldest of all of the area’s castles, built either in the 10th or 11th century (no one knows for sure). What we do know is that it no longer existed by the 13th century, and it once had a moat.

I know you didn’t come all this way to see just castles, so let’s head to the Sulzberger See. This lake has a beach and swimming area, and the best part is that it’s free for the whole family.

Did I miss anything? It’s possible to be distracted by the Kempter Wald, an area of moors and hills — a perfect location for a hike. Just remember to stop by Durach’s 200-year old Town Hall or its 700-year old tree too.

Of course, if this isn’t enough for you, there’s always a chance to see a real working farm, attend Mass on the mountain, shop at the annual Flea Market in October, or visit the Archaeological Park Cambodunum.

Oh no… how could I possibly miss this one! Go visit the Heilig Geist Kirche (Holy Spirit Church). It’s such a blessing with all this lovely painting and art, it made me speechless!

Turns out there was more to Durach than just tree lined streets, small beer gardens, and tiny guesthouses than I thought. Then again, do you really need anything else?