It’s going to be one of those days, I can feel it already. Where am I? Hold on, let me check the itinerary…

Oh yes, the Upper Bavarian town of Neumarkt-Sankt Veit — and its 95+ villages, plus the town of Egglkofen? Holy cow, I haven’t had enough coffee yet to do all that; so you’re all about to get the Cliff Notes version. ;-)

Right up until the 1930’s, Neumarkt and Sankt Veit were two separate places. Today we get to enjoy them as a whole. But, that doesn’t change the fact that you’re mere 85km east of Munich.

And it doesn’t change the fact that within these two towns (plus villages, plus Egglkofen!) you’ll find the town’s Town Hall once used to be an old castle. The former Herzoglichen Kasten is now a library, and over in the village of Teising there’s a Wasserschloss (a water castle) and pretty chapel.

I’m sorry, the real winner for me here in Neumarkt-Sankt Veit is the Kloster Sankt Veit. Excuse me, the former Monastery of St. Vitus, that’s now a local Pfarrkirche — or Parish Church.

This old Benedictine Monastery was built just about 900 years ago, surviving wars and plague — but couldn’t make it past some early 19th century church politics. After it was closed, the place was given to some Baron — and used by a Count as his own personal castle.

Now it’s a nursing home. Go figure…

Thanks to some other politicos, I get to add Egglkofen to my over-stuffed itinerary for Neumarkt-Sankt Veit. I will, however, forgive them because Egglkofen is pretty darn awesome.

Then again, being in the Rottal (Rott Valley) gets a thumbs-up from me any day of the week.

Ahhh, no one told me that Egglkofen’s got twelve villages. Cliff Notes again, People. ;-)

All is forgiven, Egglkofen’s got a castle. Who knew a medieval castle, that’s been rebuilt several times, could tame the savage soul? Along with this, you’ll find an old fortified church, and the 14th century Church of St. Emmeram — a real beauty of Gothic and Baroque art & architecture.

I sure hope you like the Cliff Notes version of Neumarkt-Sankt Veit. As soon as I find some time I’ll make it back here to see the rest of it.

What the heck, have I been living under a rock for the last 40+ years? How could I never have seen the splendors that is the town of Argenbühl? Who knew such wonders existed in the Allgäu?

Before you say anything… let me tell ya, this federal state is huge. I can’t be everywhere — until now that is. And from the looks of Argenbühl, I think I’m never going anywhere else ever again, I’m staying.

For a while, anyway. I can’t just abandon my years long quest to bring you every German town now, can I?

Argenbühl is actually a number of villages, places like Christazhofen that has a very pretty neo-Romanesque church from the 19th century. And Eglofs with its own church, a Baroque one from 1766.

Eglof is one of the more visited villages, offering its visitors a chance to see its Swabian Musical Instrument Museum, an Allgäu medicinal herb garden with a barefoot path no less, and an outdoor theater that’s got all sorts of performances taking place.

Eisenharz’s got an 18th century chapel and a Gothic church. Add in a stop to the nature reserve, and you’ve got a full vacation in one small spot.

I guess you can say the same about Ratzenried. Take a walk through the village’s covered bridge (built 1789), or take a hike over to the ruins of Castle Ratzenried (destroyed by the Swedes back in the 1600s).

Just so you know, there are two Castle Ratzenrieds — a medieval one in ruins, the other is someone’s private residence.

Can I buy your house? ;-)

On the first Sunday of the month, the Heritage Museum is open for business. It’s all right that it’s only open one day a month — there’s too much going on here in Argenbühl.

As if seeing its old buildings isn’t enough — you’ve got a choice to try paragliding, taking a hot air balloon ride, careen down the side of the mountain on a summer toboggan track, hike, bike, Nordic Walk, or swim in a moorland lake.

Whewww, I’m tired. Aren’t you? This isn’t even scratching the surface of everything else going on here… this is why I think I’m going to stay.

It doesn’t take too long to make your way around the 31 square kilometer town of Ampfing in Upper Bavaria. It will, however, take you a while to figure out your way around its 63 districts.

Sounds like a lot for such a small place, right?

How’s this for you: Ampfing is surrounded by a whole bunch of towns with half as many people in them and almost twice as many hamlets. Go figure. ;-)

This just makes Ampfing the best central location to explore around this part of Germany. Before flittering off, you might want to see the ruins of an old Arms Bunker; an interesting piece of 20th century history.

It seems military history is no stranger to Ampfing, this is where the Schlacht bei Mühldorf (often called the Battle of Ampfing) took place between the Austrians and Bavarians in 1322. The Bavarians came out victorious, if you’re wondering.

The Middle Ages were rough, but it was a time that gave Germany some of its greatest churches. The St. Stephens Church is from that time, making it a blend of Romanesque, Gothic, and Baroque art & architecture over the centuries.

The St. John the Evangelist & St. John the Baptist Church is also a Gothic creation — if you get a chance to see it.

Still, Ampfing’s real claim to fame isn’t its old churches or its medieval battles. Nope, it’s the Grüne Lagune, or Green Lagoon. This super cool swimming complex blends a natural pond with a pool that’s self-cleaning (yeah, that’s German engineering at its finest). Add in a sandy beach, a beer garden, and play area for the kids — and you’ve got yourself a grand time for next to nothing.

Come winter when the Green Lagoon, the largest of its kind in all of Bavaria, even doubles as an ice skating and curling area.

Some other great times can be had in Ampfing during its annual Apfelfest (Apple Festival) in October, its Kirchweihmarkt (also in October), and the Martinsfest in November.

It seems there’s no need to go flittering off anywhere other than Ampfing, is there? Oh, except to maybe go see the nearby Kloster Zangberg — but ain’t that a whole other page to write about… ;-)

To quote my good friend, Willy Shakespeare: Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears (said by Marc Anthony in Julius Caesar). I could change that a bit to lend me your eyes since you’re reading this — but the point is the same. The town of Elztal was once crawling with Romans.

The Romans made such an impact here in the Odenwald area of northern Baden-Württemberg that they didn’t just build one Roman fort, they built two. Which is why I’m thinking Elztal lies along what’s known as the Odenwaldlimes — and the forts are known as the Kastelle von Neckarburken (circa 159 A.D.).

A visit over to the Elantia Museum (Neckar-Odenwald Limes) is all about the Romans’ role and lives here in the area, housed in a pretty half-timbered building that’s open on Sundays from April to October.

Long before the Romans came to town, prehistoric men and women lived here. How do I know? I think the 14 prehistoric graves found, kind of prove that.

After the Romans came the Alemanni and the Franks — ushering in the Middle Ages. This time period was a boom to Elztal, and Schloss Dallau is a medieval castle that once belonged to the very famous Teutonic Knights.

While small by many castle standards, this very pretty castle is now a nice place to get married.

Some of Elztal’s churches are also a nice place to get married (or just visit). The Church of St. George in the village of Rittersbach might look Romanesque, but it’s from the 19th century — too bad you can’t tell it really was a medieval original.

Where else? Oh yes… the Baroque Church over in Neckarburken — located right next door to the half-timbered Town Hall.

And before you rush off on one of the marked hiking and biking trails (like the Roman Road), here’s when Elztal holds some festivals and markets. You don’t want to miss them, do you?

OK, on the first Tuesday in July there’s a festival, with the Backofenfest and Community Carnival in September. All this is followed by four (yes, 4) Kerwe events in October, as well as an Oktoberfest at the end of that month.

Come Advent, you’ll find some Advent Celebrations as well as a Christmas Market on the first weekend of the season.

As my time for Elztal comes to an end, again forced to quote Willy — parting is such sweet sorrow — although I’m sure when Juliet said it to Romeo, she didn’t mean Elztal. But, the saying does fit. ;-)

Whoever said that not every view is a vista, has obviously never been to Middle Franconia — or more specific, Emskirchen. Foolish mortal, I’m here to tell you that not only will you find this town a stunning vista, but historical and educational on top of it.

Oh, did I forget to mention, an awful lot of fun too?

Really, did you think for one minute that Franconia doesn’t love to have a good time? Whether you’re in Emskirchen for its annual Advents Market, or its numerous Kirchweih (Church Festivals), you’re bound to eat until you pop — and drink until you’ve tried every type of German beer known to man.

I’m kidding on the last one, but only to a point. ;-)

I did say that Emskirchen was educational, so off to take care of the cerebral side of town. The Radio- und Rundfunkmuseum is totally into the whole history of broadcasting — while the building itself, Schloss Brunn, is a piece of history. The castle has been around these parts from the 1750s when it was built.

And don’t go confusing this museum with the Heritage Museum, housed in an even older building — 1632 to be exact. This old farmstead, located at Hindenburgstraße 32, is the Local History Museum.

A good way to learn and see the great outdoors is to learn all about the beekeeping that goes on; or take a guided walking tour.

Taking a guided walking tour is a surefire way of getting the lo-down on the history behind the Lutheran Church of St. Killian. It wasn’t always Lutheran, as it was built back in 1156. There’s a lot of years behind this church, including bells from 1300 and a crucifix from the 15th century. Whereas the Church of the Resurrection Cemetery Chapel is a relative newcomer, built in 1705.

Walking around town isn’t quite the same as hiking or biking through the countryside, so be sure to get a map from the local Tourist Office. A number of trails snake through the Steigerwald, while seven trails are specific to Emskirchen itself; ranging in length from 8–18km.

For anyone who says that not every view is a vista — you take one of Emskirchen’s trails, then get back to me if you haven’t changed your mind. ;-)

Welcome to Wyk, also known as Wyk auf Föhr, a city (the only one) on the North Frisian Island of Föhr. I’d say that’s pretty significant, considering Wyk (the city) is home to more than half the island’s total population in just one-tenth the area.

Sounds crowded, right? I’m not entirely sure about that, but I do know Wyk (and Föhr itself) sees thousands of visitors every year between mid-June and early September. They’re all coming to enjoy the water sports, so why not join them?

Doing what?

Oh, glad you asked, because pretty much if you can dream it to do in (or around) the water — you’ll find it here.

No problem, non beach lovers can rent a Strandkorb (beach chair), while the rest of your friends and family can windsurf, swim, kite-surf, or mudflat hike all they like. This last activity is really popular, since Wyk lies along the Wadden Sea — an UNESCO World Heritage Site.

As I said, Wyk (and Föhr, for that matter) isn’t just limited to beach-y stuff, there are all sorts of cultural and festive events going on throughout the year. Yes, I said the year, just because Wyk is up in the coldest (read: freshest) parts of northern Germany, doesn’t mean they roll the sidewalks up when the weather gets chilly. ;-)

But, I digress, back to the festivals and events that make Wyk fun for all…

One really good one is the Biike Feuerbrennen, held on February 21st, it’s a big bonfire symbolically driving away evil spirits — while spectators drink mulled wine and eating cabbage. Perhaps it isn’t the fire that drives anything away, but the smell of cabbage cooking… hmmm… ;-)

Anyway, if you’d rather come when it’s warmer, then I suggest coming in May to see the Cherry Blossoms in bloom; but if that’s still not the best time, perhaps visit in August for the multi-day Harbor Festival — which is when they do Föhr on Fire, a wonderful fireworks display.

Summer’s also the time for the Schleswig-Holstein Music Festival. It’s where Wyk and Föhr host a number of concerts. And who can resist playing pirate? Not me, I’m a kid at heart, so July’s Piratentage (Pirate Days) are super fun.

I have not, however, ever played a Viking, but that could change after today — after visiting the Lembecksburg, believed to have once been a base for Vikings.

Pirates, Vikings, Festivals, and what else?

Oh yes, a wonderful 13th century Romanesque Church dedicated to St. Nicholas, a windmill over on Borgsum, thatched-roof cottages, a marina for boaters, and a Frisian Customs & History Museum (known as the Dr. Carl Haeberlin Frisian Museum) — this place has everything, and I don’t ever want to leave, no matter how cold it gets. ;-)

Holy Mary Sunshine, as if German isn’t a language hard enough to spit out, where sweet-nothings sound like barking orders — let’s throw some Sorbian in for good measure. Such is the case in of the Saxon town of Bernsdorf, also known as Njedźichow, located with Upper Lusatia, also known as Oberlausitz.

Yeah, you see my point? ;-)

For what it’s worth, it doesn’t matter all that much of what you call Bernsdorf. This is a town in the Bautzen area, situated in some primo forest real estate.

All the better to just wander around aimlessly, right? Uhh, no — that would never do for us Germans. Plan, plan, plan, and plan some more. So, to settle my planning German soul — let’s find out what there is to see here in Njedźichow.

The town itself is divided into districts, with names as crazy (I mean, Sorbian) as Bernsdorf itself. ;-)

In Bernsdorf proper, the St. John Lutheran Church (built 1905) should be on everyone’s sightseeing list. And in Zeißholz (or, should I say Ćisow), a village of less than 200 people, there really isn’t much to see at all — except a small village that’s not even 10 square kilometers.

Whoops, wait… there’s the Zeißholz Village Museum. You can’t miss it, it’s housed in a very old Sorbian farm known as a Dreiseithöfe.

See, this is where I learn something new everyday. A Dreiseithöfe is a 3-sided farm centered around a central courtyard.

From here we’re off towards Großgrabe, or Hrabowa. In English it’s Large Grave — but this isn’t one big dead town. Its forests and big pond are teeming with wildlife. A stop by its local village church completes the visit.

Our last stop is Straßgräbchen, or as its known in Sorbian, Nadrózna Hrabowka. It sits within some serious forest, around the areas of the Königsbrück-Ruhlander Heiden and Oberlausitzer Heide- und Teichgebiet.

Please, I can’t even pronounce all that without taking two breaths. For the most part, you can simply say it’s a nice place to be outdoors if you’re into that whole flora & fauna thing.

Drats… almost forgot about Wiednitz, or Wětnica if you’re speaking Sorbian. And only because it’s relatively new belonging to Bernsdorf.

This village isn’t new altogether, it’s been around for about 800 years — and was all business back in the 19th and 20th centuries in the brown coal and glass making industries.

There might be a whole bunch of hard to pronounce names in Bernsdorf in Upper Lusatia, but enjoying yourself here is simple to do at least.

Can someone in the German government explain to me how a town made up of over twenty villages, hamlets, and farms have only five official “districts,” please?

You know what? Never mind… I don’t care because all the red tape to get an answer would keep me from seeing the town of Bräunlingen itself.

Bräunlingen lies within the southern Black Forest; and is host to the annual Black Forest Marathon every October — the 2nd weekend, if you’re interested.

And let me tell you, there are far worse places to be outside than right here. Along the Kirnbergsee, for instance, you’ll find all sorts of zig-zag hiking and cycling trails around the lake. That’s if you can manage to pull yourself away from the excellent fishing and swimming.

Close to the Kirnbergsee is the Ottilie Chapel, just one of a number of old churches and chapels in the area. One of the oldest is St. Remigius, whose tower is more than a thousand years old. From its Romanesque medieval beginnings, this church has had a Gothic and more modern facelift through the centuries.

The Stadtkirche, or City Church, is another church that many come to see in Bräunlingen. You might hear it’s called by its other name: the Our Lady of Mount Carmel Church.

While you’re out and about in town look around for parts of its old Stadtmauer, or city wall. The pieces of this old defense system transport you back to its medieval beginnings.

And while most people think of the Middle Ages as grand castles and maidens fair; medieval history goes back much further. Which, by the way, you can learn more about at the Archaeology Museum Colombischlössle’s Merovingian exhibit.

Gosh, that’s a name as long as its history, ain’t it? ;-)

Another museum to visit is the Forest Museum — a great place to teach the kids about the area. And maybe one of ’em can learn how Bräunlingen’s 20+ became only five, so they can teach me.

Just one town over from the country of Austria, is the Upper Bavarian town of Fischbachau. While you might not have heard about this little gem of just over 5,000 people before, trust me when I tell you, people had been making pilgrimages to it for years.

Today most people come to Fischbachau for its outdoor recreation, no matter what season it is. I guess the Alpine air will do that to you. Because it’s a cool Autumn evening as I write this, let’s look forward to winter — OK? You got the choice to go skiing, snowboarding, cross-country skiing, or even take a sleigh ride.

And don’t worry if you don’t know how to ski, there’s a ski school — and a place to rent equipment, so you don’t have to worry about bringing all that stuff from home.

The warmer months are perfect for horseback riding, or venturing off on some 140km of marked hiking trails. Whew, that’s a lot. Of course, you could always choose to go mountain biking, or something.

Not me, I was on a quest to see some of Fischbachau’s charming chapels and amazing churches. The most stunning of them all is the St. Martin Cathedral, a medieval church from the 11th century. You’d never know with the amazing Baroque frescoes on its ceiling. Heavenly… truly Heavenly.

As grand as it is, that’s not Fischbachau’s Pilgrimage Church (Wallfahrtskapelle). That honor belongs to the chapel in Birkenstein, whose hiking trail was used by many a pious pilgrim back in the day.

I also loved the Leonhardikapelle, an onion-domed chapel built in 1604. Ohh, I also loved the Cemetery Chapel, another one of Fischbachau’s medieval churches.

These fine churches, and great outdoor activities, aren’t the only thing great about Fischbachau. It’s a town that’s steeped in Bavarian culture, right down to its Corpus Christi Processions and Leonhardifahrt, or Leonhardi Ride — where the horses are so gaily dressed.

How did such a town manage to escape such attention for so long? I don’t understand — but I do know that I’ll be back again one day. Hopefully soon. ;-)

Some people might say the fact that the Upper Bavarian town of Gmund am Tegernsee isn’t very touristy isn’t a good thing. On the flip side, that very fact might be its best asset.

What Gmund is really known for is paper, more specifically paper that’s made for currency. Hmm, I guess I stand corrected — money is Gmund’s biggest asset.

I love cash as much as the next person, but somehow the Bavarian Alps off in the distance kind of make me forget all about that. Hey, something has to — because honestly, there isn’t much sightseeing going on.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s some. Places like the Maria-Hilf Kapelle, a simple plague chapel built in the midst of the Thirty Years’ War back in 1634. And the St. Giles Church, whose new-fangled Baroque style conceals its original medieval beginnings from the year 1087.

Even older in Gmund is Burg Ebertshausen, or should I say, what’s left of this 8th century lowland castle that used to have a moat at one point. Nearby is Gut Kaltenbrunn, a farm begun all the way back in the Middle Ages. Today it’s a more modern place, complete with its own complex (and not without controversy, BTW).

And to go back to the Baroque period, come see the Church of St. Quirin. Be sure you’ve left enough time for yourself to take in a stop along the Kirchenweg to see a 17th century rectory; and at Seestraße 2 there’s an old Jägerhaus, a hunter’s lodge that’s constructed with a unique gabled roof & porch design.

A gabled what? Doesn’t matter… all you need to know is the chalet looking building is quite pretty.

For anyone who doesn’t care about that particular kind of stuff might be more interested in the great outdoors. This is Upper Bavaria, and along Lake Tegernsee and the Mangfall River, so any choice of hiking trail will be lovely. A ferry ride around the lake would be a good idea, just so you know.

I guess I was wrong again. Money and less-touristy aren’t Gmund’s biggest assets — its vibrant countryside with all its old farmsteads and buildings are. Come, and you’ll agree with that, too.