Whoo-hoo, if the town of Otzberg was built atop an active volcano, it sure would be hot. Good thing the volcano has long been extinct, making this dream town a place everyone can enjoy.

The outdoorsy types really win out in that regard, as Otzberg lies within the Odenwald. Ahh, beautiful trees as far as the eye can see.

And one of the best views comes from the top of said volcano, along the Otzberg mountain itself, 368 meters above sea level. Aah, you can even see the Taunus from here. But, don’t head off, closer up is an old 13th century fortress — known as the Veste Otzberg.

Go ahead, climb on up so you can enjoy the view and a beer at the Castle Tavern. And speaking of the Odenwald, Otzberg is home to the Museum of Odenwald Folk Culture.

Don’t rush inside just yet, it really is best to be outside. Come see the basalt columns, and the UNESCO Geo-park all found in and around Otzberg.

I hope I haven’t missed anything else to do outdoors. Oh, maybe the Hofgut Habitzheim, an medieval estate from the 12th century.

Of course, a place this old has got to have some of those half-timbered houses everyone loves, right? Yes it does, like the Burgmannenhaus in the village of Hering (one of Otzberg’s seven villages) and the Alte Rathaus (Old Town Hall) in both Nieder-Klingen and Lengfeld (the latter was built in 1717).

With this many villages you’ll have just about that many village churches to see. I’ll make it kinda easy… there are two Catholic Churches and five Protestant ones.

So much more of Otzberg’s history can be found at its Museum Otzberg, open Saturday – Monday. Still, it’s nice to see castles up close and personal.

I’m just sorry to say that not all that remains of the original Wasserburg (Water Castle) except its gatehouse and gate tower.

You can always console yourself about the castle situation by buying something at either the Easter or Christmas Markets. Some of you might prefer to take in a Chamber Music concert instead.

Thankfully you won’t have to strain to hear it over the roar of lava. ;-)

Holy Mary Sunshine, is the town of Oberlungwitz the dream town of every young (and not so young) boy. No, it isn’t a town of snakes and snails, and puppy dog tails, Silly. I can only sum it up in one word: Sachsenring.

Ha, means nothing like that — especially if you don’t know what it is. How about a huge racetrack that’s all about the fastest and most maneuverable cars and motorcycles?

Yeah, Guys, I got your attention now, don’t I? And I don’t know if it’s a bad thing or a good thing that many of the events in Oberlungwitz are all racing events. Which seem to go on every weekend from February to November, by the way; including the Masters Weekend in June.

But, let’s just suppose that you’re not a racing fan. Gasp! Hold on, I gotta pick myself back up off the floor for even suggesting such a thing. But, let’s just say for the sake of conversation that you’re not. What’s to do and see here?

Well, you could go visit the St. Martin Church, built by Benedictine monks back in the 12th century. I know, it doesn’t look all that old. That’s because it saw an overhaul in the 15th and 19th centuries, the latter of which is when its tower was expanded by 7 meters (up to today’s 45m).

The 19th century was good to Oberlungwitz, when the town got its Königlich Sächsischer Postmeilenstein (Royal Saxon Post Milemarker). And before I get off on another tangent, the Postgut (in one of those great half-timbered buildings) was a Post Office on a route that ran between Dresden and Zwickau.

Speaking of old buildings, that reminds me of the many Drei- und Vierseithöfe that are found around this part of Saxony. What’s that, you ask? Let me see if I can explain it right… it’s a 3 sided farm with all its buildings around a center courtyard of sorts.

If I’m wrong in explaining it — sorry.

How about we just stick to shopping at the Bauernmarkt in October, or the Christmas Market in December? OK? Oops, I forgot about the Strumpf- und Vereinsfest in May, which is an annual Sock Festival, as Oberlungwitz was famous for its hosiery.

A sock festival? Now that sounds interesting — enough that I might give up going to the racetrack for. ;-)

To start off talking about the town of Osterburken, I’ve got two words for you: Bonus dies. Forgive me if my Latin isn’t very good, but it’s supposed to mean Good Day.

Why Latin? It is in honor of the Romans who once stomped these lands. So much that they built a fort here back in the 1st century A.D. Now some 2,000 years later, the old Roman Fort is now a UNESCO area with a museum, hence why Osterburken is on the German Limes Road.

You can always party like a Roman during its Römerfest in September. Or go back in time by visiting the Römermuseum, followed by the Kohortenkastell and the Annexkastell from the 2nd century.

To go further back in history than the Romans (wouldn’t that kinda be like prehistory?) you gotta head to the Geologisch-Paläontologische Museum that’s filled with all sorts of stuff from the days of the dinosaur. You know we Germans have a love for long words, and this is simply the Geologic Paleontological Museum.

After the fall of the Roman Empire the period of the Middle Ages was ushered in. And here at the Histotainment Park Adventon you’re treated to a medieval spectacle every weekend from June to October.

Of course they have other stuff going on any other time, in case you’re wondering.

What other medieval wonders does Osterburken have in store? The Evangelical Church Bofsheim (13th/14th century) for starters, then there’s the tiny red/white chapel of St. Mauritius (1283), and the tower of Osterburken’s St. Kilian Church (15th century).

However, it is the Kloster Seligental that was built in 1236 that is Osterburken’s medieval wonder. After the Reformation swept through, the Cistercian Monastery lost some of its grandeur.

Not to me, mind you, I love this stuff. And all you have to do is see its frescoes and Romanesque architecture — and you’ll love it too. ;-)

I love a good party too. Thankfully Osterburken can oblige. I already told you about the Roman Festival — but there is also the Straßenfest (Street Festival) in July, the Kiliani Market (a 2-day event) also in July, and of course Germany’s famous for its Christmas Markets, and you’ll find one here in early December.

The Wine Festival (Weinfest) is an annual event every November. Just don’t make any plans to head off by bike into the Odenwald, or along the Skulpturenradweg, the Deutscher Limes Radweg, or the Fränkische Radachter trails during this event.

Save that for another day, OK?

While you do that, I’m gonna learn how to say, “I’ve had a great time” in Latin…

I wouldn’t be lying if I said you won’t find too many tourists in the town of Tangstedt (Stormarn). Yeah, sure, there are a few guesthouses for some visitors, but not many.

Ahh, room to spread out, peace & quiet. All the things that make a German happy. ;-)

And, by the way, if you think this Tangstedt is small with just over 6,000 residents — you should go see nearby Tangstedt (Pinneberg) that’s merely 22km or 27 minutes away, where only about 2,200 people live.

Yes, it can be a bit confusing — but for the record, this Tangstedt is in the Stormarn District, and located in the north of Hamburg (rather than in the northwest).

This is North Germany so it can get quite cold here in the winter. No wonder many events are held indoors during the season, like concerts and community breakfasts.

So what if you don’t speak German? Food is food. Just don’t go eating anything with your hands. Quiet makes a German happy, but eating like a barbarian will make us morph into a Krazy Kraut. ;-)

When the weather warms up everything moves to the outside. Flea Markets and Easter Bonfires, Summer Festivals, Farmers Markets, Family and Thanksgiving Festivals await you.

The exception to the whole winter indoor thing is the Christmas Market in early December, that’s held outdoors at the Rathausplatz.

Who cares if the mercury dips a little low. Don’t let something so simple as chilly weather stop you from walking along the tree-lined Beekmoorweg. There’s an old milking house at Beekmoorweg 8, if you’re interested.

As you’re wandering about, you should make the time to see the Gut Wulksfelde, a farm that’s been around since the 14th century and used as a brickyard, a glassworks, a brewery, up to an Organic Farm, which it is now.

That sounds healthy, but so is walking around the 131km of roads throughout Tangstedt. Or, just take one of the many bus routes to see the place.

Hmm, you’d think with all that easy public transportation more people would come to Tangstedt — maybe they’ve headed to the other one instead?

It’s easy to throw around titles like the Pearl of the Ore Mountains (like the town of Burkhardtsdorf), and the Jewel of the Swabian Alb like the town of Trochtelfingen in Baden Württemberg.

The name is appropriate, btw. This truly is a jewel in the crown of this region.

Located within what used to be the Hohenzollern Province, Trochtelfingen transports you back to the days of an Old World Germany, right down to its medieval Stadtmauer — for which parts of this old defense wall are found all over town.

And as with any proper town of the Middle Ages, it has a 15th century castle. Once owned by the Princes of Fürstenberg, and used as Trochtelfingen’s Rathaus, it is now a local school.

Of course, the Schlossgarten (Castle Garden) is another must-see. It’s a peaceful and quiet place that can be enjoyed by everyone.

As you make your way around, look for Trochtelfingen’s landmark, the greyish, 28 meters high Hohe Turm (High Tower). Digging under it won’t be so easy — its walls are over 2 1/2 meters thick!

The nearby Pulverturm is another one of the town’s towers. This one looks pretty from the outside, and its interior is now used by one of the town’s local clubs.

But it’s the Augstbergturm observation tower in the Steinhilben district that will provide you with the greatest vistas of the town and surrounding countryside.

A nice stroll to take in Trochtelfingen is along its Pfarrgasse, framed by some half-timbered houses along a cobblestone street. Didn’t I say it had an Old World charm?

Although not a framework house, the Zehntscheuer, now a bank, was once a tithe barn.

Along the Kirchplatz there was once a footbridge that lead to one of Trochtelfingen’s churches. This one is known for its Garden of Gesthemane artwork from the 15th century. The St. Martin Church’s oldest part is its tower, dating back to the year 1320.

Trochtelfingen was once famous for its five breweries that were once located here. Today the Albquell is all that’s left of its brewing history with a brewery guesthouse and the Bierkrug- und Bierdeckelmuseum (Beer Mug & Beer Coaster Museum).

You can learn more about Trochtelfingen’s history of beer and more at its Local History Museum (Heimatmuseum, Am Hohen Turm 5).

See, Trochtelfingen isn’t a one-museum town. ;-)

What else can I say, except that Trochtelfingen truly has proven itself as a Jewel of the Swabian Alb. The only thing that would make this even better is to find the most comfortable shoes you can, and hike ’til you can’t hike no more in the Alb.

Oh, except maybe to stop at the 14th century Erhardkapelle first. Or, the Alb-Gold Kundenzentrum — known for glass production and other diddies.

Jewel of the Alb? I’m inclined to say it’s the Crown Jewel of the Alb.

There are only eight districts in the Hessian town of Burghaun, so it won’t take too long to get through it all. That is, if there aren’t any festivals or markets going on.

I’ll be honest, there is too much sightseeing to do in Burghaun. The town is dominated by its Catholic and Protestant Churches, both built in a Baroque style and located right next to each other. And very close to a medieval gatehouse from the year 1400.

Hmm, that makes it for easy going, doesn’t it?

You’ll have to travel over to the village of Langenschwarz to see its Lutheran Church (built 1879), Catholic Church (1677), its Altes Schloss (Old Castle), and its late 19th/early 20th century Jewish cemetery.

There’s another Jewish cemetery in Burghaun, BTW, used from around 1690 right up until the early 1940s.

Steinbach also has a church (it’s a 20th century one though), and the Mariengrotto is where you’re more than welcome to sit on the benches for quiet reflection.

I should pray for the strength to get through the 27km Kegelspiel-Radweg. I’m not a Spring Chicken anymore. ;-)

I am, however, a shoppaholic and a huge fan of a good party with lots of food. How awesome that Burghaun can accommodate. There are two Wine Festivals in September, a Rocktoberfest that’s also in September, followed by an Oktoberfest and Kartoffelfest that are both in October.

FYI, the Kartoffelfest is all about the potato. So, good eats, everyone!

What else? Burghaun as a Kinderfest (Childrens Festival), a Christmas Market in December, a Kirmes (church festival) in both October and November, a Backhaus (Bake House) Festival, Grillfest, and Flea Market all in May.

This is all in addition to the Brunnenmarkt that’s held on the second Saturday of every month (8:30am – 1pm) selling all sorts of flowers, wines, cheeses, honey, spices, and more.

You’re gonna have to wait for the Kunsthandwerkermarkt to buy handicrafts and gifts. It’s worth waiting for, though, as the artists put their heart and soul into their work. But, with all these other festivals going on, how they manage to get anything done is beyond me. ;-)

Wait until you hear this: You couldn’t imagine what I found in the spa town of Bad Lobenstein, situated right in the Thüringer Schiefergebirge (Thuringian Slate Mountains) around both the Thuringian Forest and the Franconian Forest.

Gander to guess? No, it isn’t the ARDESIA Therme, a spa where you can be pampered with massages and “good for you” mud.

It isn’t the Lobenstein Castle, a ruin that was built back around the year 1300 that has a 35 meter high observation area that used to be the castle’s tower.

Which isn’t to be confused with Bad Lobenstein’s Neues Schloss (New Castle) where the Princes of Reuss-Lobenstein lived and ruled (hence why it’s on the Princes Of Reuss Route).

The Schlosspark, by the way, is gorgeous; while the castle itself (a Baroque one built in 1714) is now used for all sorts of cultural events (literary readings, concerts, etc.) and weddings.

Nope, also not the Markt Höhler that is Bad Lobenstein’s Mining Museum. The Regional Museum (open Apr 1 – Sep 30) and the Rathaus (Town Hall) ain’t it either.

Still can’t guess what I found? It isn’t the marked walking paths, which you follow by color (green, brown, that kind of thing); nor is it the Rennsteig (a long distance hiking & scenic route of sorts).

Of course I found the traditional stuff, you know, a miniature golf course; a bowling alley; a swimming pool — but that’s not what got me all excited and ready to shout it from the rooftops.

I know. I know. That would be totally un-German like behavior. I promise I’ll be as quiet as a church mouse at Bad Lobenstein’s Stadtkirche (City Church) that had to be rebuilt in the 1860s.

You’ve waited long enough, I got all hyped up over the Bad Lobensteiner Destillerie & Erlebnisbrauerei Reising. Yeah, you thought beer was just a Bavarian thing, didn’t you?

Nah, they brew good local stuff right here; where you can book guided tours of the facility. As soon as you’re done seeing how they make it — try it. They got all sorts of stuff right down to an awesome flavored schnaps and liqueur, to “homemade” beer.

Juniper berry liqueur, anyone? Impress someone with your German speaking skills — ask for Wachholderbeerlikör.

If you’re gonna drink in Germany… best to drink like a German, right? :-)

Welcome to Schwanenbräu! No, that came out totally wrong. Let’s try again… Welcome to the Upper Franconian town of Burgebrach, home to the private brewery Schwanenbräu.

Better? Good. ;-)

You can visit the brewery, BTW, its Bierkeller and Biergarten are located at Hautpstraße 16 — and they open every day at 3pm from May to September serving up everything from lager to Weisse Bock.

What else does Burgebrach boast? Um, the 12th century Church of St. Vitus — more known now for its Gothic and Baroque architecture and artwork.

At the Kirchplatz is a six-sided sandstone statue — pretty artwork for a very pretty church. And on the Sunday after Michaelmas (September 29th), the church holds its annual Kerwa, a Church Festival.

What else is there to see? The town’s original Obere Tor (Upper Gate) is now the local Rathaus, or Town Hall; and you’re awfully close to the Ruine Windeck. Sadly the only thing remaining from this castle is what used to be its moat.

Oh well, use the time one one of Burgebrach’s bike trails to imagine what it once looked like. One thing, that medieval ruin probably didn’t look anything like the 20th century Jagdschloss, or Hunting Lodge, that was built at the turn of the 20th century.

While Burgebrach doesn’t have quite as many villages as some other German towns, it seems as if they do have that many Kirchweih celebrations. There’s one in May, another in June, one for July, one in August, five (yeah, 5) in September, one for October, and two in November.

This isn’t even including the Brunnenfest (Fountain Festival), Sommernachtsfest (Summer Night Festival), Dorffest (Village Festival), and Wine Festival that are all in July, a 2-day Kerwe in early August, and a Pfarrfest in September.

What’s really funny is some of Burgebrach’s villages have only 8, 12, and 15 residents. Hmm, oh well, everyone deserves a party, right? :-)

And everyone deserves a chance to bike out into the Steigerwald — so go rent one if you want. It’s fun for the whole family, that’s for sure.

What’s fun for mom & dad is getting back over to the Schwanenbräu. Let me know what you think of the Burgebracher Kellerbier, OK?

On an average day I’d say to put a few hours away for the town of Bammental if you’re visiting Heidelberg. It’s only about 9km, after all.

That is, unless, you’re here for one of the town’s festivals. But, I’ll get to that in a minute.

For the traditional sightseeing route in Bammental, start at the Altes Rathaus (Old Town Hall). It’s a charming little building, and located right near one of Bammental’s two watchtowers.

The Alter Turm, once an old church tower, is historic and functional — plus, it’s now where you’ll find a wonderful herb garden.

And as for churches, there are a few in Bammental that are worth seeing; like the Catholic St. Dionysius, or the Evangelical Church located at Pfarrgasse 4.

Ohh, I skipped ahead for a minute there. I forgot to mention that Bammental has a Local History Museum (called Heimatmuseum, found at the old train station). Within it are all sorts of artifacts from Roman times and the days of the dinosaur.

Of course, if you’re rather be outside than in, them might I suggest that you visit the town’s Waldschwimmbad, which is an outdoor pool in the forest? Or, you can get yourself a bike to tackle a number of bicycle trails through both the Odenwald and the Kraichgau countryside.

Be careful though, there are couple of long-distance bike paths. I say that ’cause you can’t leave yet — I haven’t gotten to the festivals yet.

Better do that now than later.

May is an exceptionally busy month that starts off with the Maibaumfest (oh wait, that’s on April 30th, but the Maifest starts on the 1st). But, the month does have the Spring Festival and the Lindenfest.

July is just as busy with Bammental’s Garden Party, Music Festival, and Familienfest. The Kerwe is an August event, with October hosting the Autumn Celebration, and the year ends with the obligatory Christmas Market in December.

I better tell you that it isn’t just festivals, churches, and a few old buildings in Bammental — you’ve also got tennis and fishing to do too.

Instead of saying you should set a few hours away for Bammental, I should’ve said a few days, huh? :-)

Any other time I see the name “Bad” in a town I get all excited to think about all the wonderful spa treatments that I can wrap my body up in. Not this time, Folks, Bad Sobernheim in the Rhineland-Palatinate got me to thinking of wine.

OK, you got me, I was thinking about being totally pampered while I was drinking wine. ;-)

Viticulture is just as big here in Bad Sobernheim as it is about its spas. How could it not since the Riesling grape is king around here; and Bad Sobernheim lies along the Nahe Wine Route, the Nahe-Radweg, and the Weinwanderweg Rhein-Nahe to boot.

If I can stop daydreaming about wine and massages I can tell you about some of Bad Sobernheim’s other attractions. One is the Rhineland-Pfälzisches Freilichtmuseum, a big name for an outdoor museum; while the Heimatmuseum (Local History Museum) is filled with all sorts of art and manuscripts.

A fun way to see Bad Sobernheim is to take a GPS tour (incl. a yearly raffle; ask the Tourist Information for details) — or do the Trolley Tour, which uses an old rail line.

Walking is a good way to see the churches; namely the St. Matthias Church, whose origins date back to the year 1000; or the Malteserkapelle that built by the Order of St. John in a Gothic style; and the Pfarrkirche St. Mattäus that’s a stained glass wonder from the late 19th century.

Make sure you’ve got your comfy shoes on ’cause you’ll be doing more walking when you visit the Fossil Archaeological site (called Steinhardter Erbsen), the private gardens at the Marumpark, and the Klosterruine Disibodenberg.

The monastery might be gone, but there is a museum to tell you about its 7th century beginnings and its 16th century closing thanks to the Protestant Reformation.

What did I miss? Oh yes, to tell you about the Blumenhaus am Markt — a framework house from the 16th century that’s now a flower shop. This reminds me to tell you about Bad Sobernheim’s Orchid Path too.

You’ve earned the chance to take off your shoes along the Barefoot path at this point. Go ahead, for the next 3.5km you can let your poor feet relax.

No rest for the weary though… it’s time to party! The Innenstadtfest is always on the first weekend of September; while the Tanz in den Mai (Dance Into May) is always on April 30th/May 1st.

In between you’ve got all sorts of wine tastings and samplings, the Spring Fair, and the Dorffest (Village Festival).

Wine might’ve been my first thought about Bad Sobernheim, but it is so much more than that — don’t ya think?